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Did not mean to send above yet.  Well from above journal I don't know why Im afraid to succeed but a interesting thing happened last night. I called my dearest friend that lives in Vegas she has a...

Friday, Saturday and last night binged hard and heavy with smoking. 

Today again is a new week to be healthy. One of my best friends came to visit this weekend and well the rest is history.  I live away from my family and friends so they come for the weekends to...

Going to try AA again at noon.  Little nervous this meeting is my 1st mixed meeting and don't know why but at this point feel more comfortable in the womans meeting.  I do respect all alcoholics...

Living healthy is very hard for me and I dont now why. With drinking comes my other demon smoking and I have to admit to it in order to change my ways. My heart is bad from my heart attack and number...

Had enough or should i say to much last night.  The shift is here and the time is now!  I really know I'm a alcoholic, I mean I knew I was butt never really wanted to completely admit it to myself...

Slipped yesterday not bad in the drinking department but smoked! wow out of my mind like I said in my past journal I am feeling a shift but don't understand why I havent succeed in staying sober yet....

Day 4 and feeling a positive shift in my thinking! Ready to live a healthy life today is a great day

Today is day 2 and still feel like crap from Friday. Worse is the guilt and anxiety that comes after drinking. I eat and drink like crap then worry about my health! Crazy not worth it anymore!!! I...

Well maybe I wasn't really ready to quit I drank this weekend.  In one if the discussions posted today was about why people relapse and I think it hit it head for me feeling like I'm missing...

Wow my house is getting cold on the fence to turn on the heat! Its so hard to put it on the 1st time for the season Even though  Fall is my favorite time of the year in Michigan. My best friend is...

Day 4 read ds today didn't feel like writing but helps me to read everyones thoughts strengths and weakness. I pigged out again today I swear my husband wants to kill me lol! He made a chocolate cake...

Day 3 just helps me saying each day...nothing much to say today

I'm feeling a shift in my thinking about drinking. After saturdays relapse I realized I so over that life! Know I will have hard days but today looking forward to SOBRIETY day 2

So mad at myself but going to go forward not drinking. I cracked yesterday full blackout..pigged out last night and today, domino effect of drinking. I let my depression get a hold of me. Last year...