MMP1

It's been a while since I've journaled.  Partly because I HATE THE NEW WEB DESIGN.I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately.  I have the pills to do it.  I know it would kill my brother, but...

Well I just came down from a mini manic episode about a month ago. It felt great while it lasted. My new psychiatrist responded quickly to get it under control. Now I'm in the inevitable depressive...

Victor's son and daughter in law are nothing but manipulative takers. They are the most self centered people I have ever known and lie every chance they get and they've raised three daughters that...

I was ok when I turned 30. I was ok when I turned 40. I was ok when I turned 50. But turning 51 has really depressed me. Wtf. I guess I look at the last 10 years and think CRAP. My quality of life is...

Spent thanksgiving and Christmas with my brothers family. It was good. New Years is the hardest on me. Of all the days in the year, this is the one which I miss my dad the most. At the stroke of...

I'm going to stay outpatient one more week at West Oaks and then discharge. The psychiatrist there basically said there's nothing else he can do for me. I'm gonna go back to my own psychiatrist - I...

I hate my neurologist. I went to him for neck/head injury and he keeps treating it as migraines. None of the meds he's prescribed have done anything for my pain. He interrupts me when I try to talk....

Second day at the hospital. Unimpressed with the psychiatrist. He won't prescribe an antidepressant for me because I'm bipolar 1. He said it's too risky cuz it can trigger mania. Omg. He has me on...

Checked myself as outpatient into West Oaks Hospital.

Well I never made it to my book club because they end after my curfew time and I quit going to the game club because it was just too weird with the fantasy games.My depression is just awful.  I...

Well poo.  Use to when the weather changed I would be so happy.  I just loved it when it started to finally cool down.  But now I've noticed that the last 3 years or so I get depressed in the fall...

Victor's dog, Cesar, died yesterday and it was a horrible death. He got his chain hung up on a dead limb and choked while Victor was at work. It was just awful. Victor blames himself a thousand...

Well for some reason the month of June and July have been really down for me. I'm staying in bed too much. I'm having trouble ruminating about the past - childhood, failed marriages, lost friends,...

Well it seems that the last 2 to 3 months my mood has been changing about every 2 weeks from normal to being down.  I don't think I've really been hypo manic or manic much if any.  I have spent a...

I can't believe it.  Two of my best and only close friends that abandoned me ten years ago when I first got sick have gotten in touch with me again.  Patty contacted me last Friday via Facebook...