JulesHopeFaithLove11

so I’m back, not where I want to be but here I am.had been doing really well for a few years. Have 3 more kids and a grand daughter, things have been going well besides I have an out of control 3...

..I am just hurting so bad...he wants me dead (evil inside me) and I cant stop believing that he is right and that the pain will never end unless my life is over....meds not helping...dr not...

have felt really tired and down all day today...lots of bad thoughts also...like I ve had enough and want it to end..want to die....wish I could get past these thoughts.

im just so scared of my feelings right now, I dont know what to do.....I think when Im feeling good then I can hear my psychotic thoughts more, and they are not good...they tell me that for me to...

when I think about it, since yesterday I guess I am feeling a bit better...I dont want to admit it though...I guess Ive been so depressed for so long I dont want to feel better....will take some...

saw pdoc yesterday, he says I seem a bit brighter and more talkative than 3 weeks ago...i dont know...maybe I am....but these thoughts and anxiety dont help......told him I still dont feel like...

to much going on in my life right now.....just want it all to stop so I dont have to stress so much....ive really had enough....i want out of this life....go to see pdoc on monday, he will probably...

still dont feel any different...but I think with what is going on in my life at the moment, no meds is going to make me feel any better about...maybe help me stop worrying so much and make me able to...

maybe i have a bit more motivation....did manage to do 20 minutes of exercise today, which I haven't done in a long time.......dont know if its from the meds or not...........so want to go to bed...

still the same...still dont want to do anything or go anywhere...still want each day to end the moment I wake up in the morning.

im alive...no motivation...just depression....bring on bed time.....another 9 hours at least to go.

went out for lunch with a friend today, but couldnt wait to get home where i feel safe.dont know how I feel...dont know if I want to die....but dont want to live like this...as usual I cant wait for...

no nausea today.......but have really bad thoughts of wanting to die.

it is 10:40am and am feeling a bit of nausea, not to bad but its there....just hope it doesn't get any worse. want to try to get grocery shopping done today, but want to go back to bed.

still no side effects...............still wish the day would hurry up and end so I can sleep and not feel