JulesHopeFaithLove11

well now my main goal in life is to die....guess it is only the meds keeping me alive...dont know why i continue to take them...if I go off all  meds, I would feel awful and would probably go...

today all my crazy negative thoughts have come back....feel so much more calm with them there....my head isnt empty again...dont notice the depression as much with head so full.....just cant win

just had an overwhelming urge to hurt myself...didnt have time to think...just did it.....burnt my wrist bad...i am so stupid..

well... I thought I knew what depression felt like for the last 30 years....guess I was wrong....last 3 weeks I have felt really low, with no break for even a minute...I just feel really depressed...

3 months on pristiq now and i dont think it is doing me much good...started on 100mg,then 150, now up to 200mg...pdoc thinks my mood has gotten better....me I dont know......thoughts of wanting to...

Have been so up and down this year.......from being really well and happy...to near going through with suicide the next day.... thoughts of suicide forced into my mind everyday no mater how I...

was on 200mg for 3 years now...just started reducing it by 50mg a week with no problems at first, am now down to 100mg for last 3 days and not feeling to good...my head just feels like crap...really...

Still havent hurt myself...I still get the urge to but they pass withing minutes usually..

I have been doing really well the last month....have managed to teach 2 days a week and actually sit and write up some notes to make my classes easier...and I went really well teaching a class of 10...

maybe try for a month when i feel up to doing another goal

has just about been a week now without SI but I feel to numb to care right now

From my earliest memories...about 3 years old...I have been terrified of people and the world. I never spoke to anyone except my mum and my brothers and sisters, and then a few friends at school, but...

still no SI

Still no SI...but so what...Im so over life to worry about it.