JulesHopeFaithLove11

well... I thought I knew what depression felt like for the last 30 years....guess I was wrong....last 3 weeks I have felt really low, with no break for even a minute...I just feel really depressed...

3 months on pristiq now and i dont think it is doing me much good...started on 100mg,then 150, now up to 200mg...pdoc thinks my mood has gotten better....me I dont know......thoughts of wanting to...

Have been so up and down this year.......from being really well and happy...to near going through with suicide the next day.... thoughts of suicide forced into my mind everyday no mater how I...

was on 200mg for 3 years now...just started reducing it by 50mg a week with no problems at first, am now down to 100mg for last 3 days and not feeling to good...my head just feels like crap...really...

Still havent hurt myself...I still get the urge to but they pass withing minutes usually..

have felt really tired and down all day today...lots of bad thoughts also...like I ve had enough and want it to end..want to die....wish I could get past these thoughts.

im just so scared of my feelings right now, I dont know what to do.....I think when Im feeling good then I can hear my psychotic thoughts more, and they are not good...they tell me that for me to...

when I think about it, since yesterday I guess I am feeling a bit better...I dont want to admit it though...I guess Ive been so depressed for so long I dont want to feel better....will take some...

saw pdoc yesterday, he says I seem a bit brighter and more talkative than 3 weeks ago...i dont know...maybe I am....but these thoughts and anxiety dont help......told him I still dont feel like...

to much going on in my life right now.....just want it all to stop so I dont have to stress so much....ive really had enough....i want out of this life....go to see pdoc on monday, he will probably...

still dont feel any different...but I think with what is going on in my life at the moment, no meds is going to make me feel any better about...maybe help me stop worrying so much and make me able to...

maybe i have a bit more motivation....did manage to do 20 minutes of exercise today, which I haven't done in a long time.......dont know if its from the meds or not...........so want to go to bed...

still the same...still dont want to do anything or go anywhere...still want each day to end the moment I wake up in the morning.

im alive...no motivation...just depression....bring on bed time.....another 9 hours at least to go.

went out for lunch with a friend today, but couldnt wait to get home where i feel safe.dont know how I feel...dont know if I want to die....but dont want to live like this...as usual I cant wait for...