Here I am again

so I’m back, not where I want to be but here I am.

had been doing really well for a few years. Have 3 more kids and a grand daughter, things have been going well besides I have an out of control 3 year old boy and I think he is what has triggered me to go downhill so fast. His behaviour is getting worse and I have failed because I can’t handle him without  

going crazy. 

I just feel so horrible all day everyday and all I can think about is how horrible I feel. I manage to function and look after the kids, but it’s like I’m on auto pilot.

meds have been increased but so far not helping.

im just lost and don’t know what to do.