TheED
Status: "Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs torments the torments of man"
Mood:
Ok
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*May contain TRIGGERING content* ***Suicide, self-harm, od, hospital*** Last night I just got home from a trip to the hospital..In the early after noon (say about 2pm) I had gotten myself into such...
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Great, that's just great..10.90/20 in an assignment! Shows how much damn mental health can affect your thinking! I'm having an absolutely dreadful time just trying to go on, then a mark like this...
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Ok, just putting myself into perspective how big of a month or so this has been. So I was put into hospital from my GP, my health had deteriorated quite a lot and a large amount of weigh lost very...
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Went to my psychologist today, and because I needed another prescription I briefly saw my psychiatrist. Though my psychologist in our talking, was pretty much saying she's not like 'really worried'...
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Don't have to go in! :) Though, had to have an ECG, and she weighed me with a lot lower number again.. and she rang up I think my dad.. :/ But yeah, if the blood test results are ok, then I won't...
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I don't want to be doing this I honestly don't. And I don't know why I can't. I haven't put anything in my mouth other than water, diet drinks (1calorie stuff) and tea (3calorie stuff). Its been...
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Still awake at 1.20 in the morning again, having a full on break down after a mini binge, chocolates and biscuits and I had kept dinner down too, the feelings are killing me, they are breaking me. I...
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I hate my body, so then I try to restrict, I last all day, then I have to eat dinner with the family, I decide I am going to eat it, I eat more than I should, more than anyone else, then more and...
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I'm going down that track of not eating again, why do I do this, because I am beyond control. I don't actually have any reasons to why I do this other than I am just so incredibly sick of myself and...
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Why can't I just be normal!? I hate that I have so many imperfections and nothing good about me. I want to be good at something, I want to be in control of myself and my actions. I want to be pretty,...
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I'm feeling like the whole world is starting to close up on me. People seem more and more confusing, distant and unattached to my existence. It feels like my worth is diminishing smaller and smaller...
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I can not believe how I have been feeling since starting this university course. I can't figure out whether its the structure of the weeks, the facilities, the university, the lecturers/tutors, the...
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I'm moving out today!!! Ahh, I'm so excited yet a little nervous to be starting university. What happens if I'm not good enough for it, will I just fail everything, am I just wasting my time, how on...
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I have this absolutely awful feeling inside of me right now. I had to go to a dinner and I didn't get a chance to avoid digesting it. This is the first anything in weeks. I am just feeling so numb...
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Finally some good news to hear through my ears. I passed my driving test this afternoon, only just but at least its something. I haven't taken my first drive yet, but I'm hoping to. As soon as it was...
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