This awful feeling inside of me :(

I have this absolutely awful feeling inside of me right now. I had to go to a dinner and I didn't get a chance to avoid digesting it. This is the first anything in weeks. I am just feeling so numb and want to get out of my skin so badly, I can't stand this feeling. I feel horrible! On the good note though, I did go to a counselor today and it was great to talk to them, and I have a card and number for when I'm moving in two weeks. I also saw my GP... the results were not so great and I was actually honest with him. He was going to speak to my parents and I said please not to. So he said he'd have to have a word with my old mental health team anyway to let them know whats happening and catch them up to date. But then he is going on holidays for a while so I'm not even sure if they'll get the message. He also either said 'Do you want to go back to hospital' or "You don't want to go back to hospital again do you" I said definitely not. So he said well I guess I'll have to keep on trying to convince you that this isn't the right thing to do :(