machoorozconpollo

I don't even know where to begin.  This is the absolute worst I have ever been. Depressed isn't even the word that could describe it. I feel absolute s****y. I'm so down, down on myself and...

The rage that sits inside my soul is so tight and full. Swollen with the fullness of painful emotions. Her first fourth of July I missed, he first time rolling over, crawling, I wasn't there. Her...

Tired of feeling tired. I don't know why I still complain. I don't know why I'm upset at being so tired. If I would of handled my problems correctly in the beginning then I wouldn't be in the...

I keep this little card with a small rosary taped to the inside and it has a picture of Saint Michael in the inside as well. Saint Michael happens to be the Saint of miracles. It is said that,when a...

Im so ashamed at myself. I can't believe I f'ed all what was expect ed of me along with what I expected for myself. I let myself down horribly. Oh my sweet Lord, what if the judge doesn't give me a...

 Again  I'm trying to stop. I don't know why I can't do it. Over and over again. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of being tired. I'm fed up with my whole situation. I missed my drug test on the 8th,...

This is the "beginning of my end for me". Today I purchased my last gram and shared it with my mom. I reminded her that this was my last time spending my money on it so after this to not ask me to...

Today I went thru all my little letters to whom ever, myself, my daughter and God. Reading all my feelings, thoughts and emotions made me remember something that I forgot about myself. I remember how...

I'm so crapped out tired of myself. I don't understand how I'm still so selfish. I remember when my daughter was born and I was doing good. I had time on my belt. The most I've been sober since...

Every emotion that I feel. Every time I think of her, are all the same feeling. There not pleasant. There not happy or make me smile and giggle within. They make me look towards the floor. They make...

I hate that I'm still using. I hate that it has to be me that lives this way. I wish I would of never done heroin. I wish I had it better then how I have it now. I know I complain too much. I know...

It never seems to get better. As the days pass I see myself sinking more and more under water. At the moment I awake, I glance at the pale blue sky and think to myself how the sky always looks the...

I found a Safety and Action plan on the web somewhere. I down loaded the both of them, copied them on a rough draft paper and started to put it all together. My sister bought me a 4pack of poster...

I've been not doing my part in all this. Since April 29 I relapsed and am still using. I had a on demand drug test yesterday and I told the social worker I was at the beach and didn't get her text...

No progress, I constantly think about her and when I think about her that means I'm thinking about getting sober. I need to take weekly drug testing and if I get a positive test, I'm not going to get...