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matthewsmom10

Status: Just trying to get through another day,,,

Mood: Ok

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Feeling alone...

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It has been a long time since I have visited this site. I have been reading all of your stories and posts, and can relate to many. I guess we all have ups and downs. I try to keep positive most of the time...I think I am better when my son is doing...
One of those days...

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Tomorrow our son starts middle school...6th grade...its hard to believe, time gos by too fast. I am feeling especialy sad that Brian isnt here to share this with us. Sad doenst even begin to express how I feel...you all know what I mean. This is...
Special Days

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Today is our anniversary, we have been married 14 years and together 19. I had taken my engagement ring in to the jewlers because one of the prongs had bent. I have only been wearing my band and had really missed it. It was supposed to be ready...
Fathers Day...its here...

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Well I have anticipated this day with much anxiety, fear, and dread...but yet it is here. My family will have a big celebration to honor my Dad, and brother in law....they of course have offered to come here, or left it open for us to come...
Easter...

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This is the first Easter in 18 years that I have not made a basket for Brian. He was just like a little kid, he liked his basket just as full a Matthew's, and it would be! I love making up there baskets with treats and toys. I hate that Brian...
He should be here with us...

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This evening Matthew "crossed over" to become a Boy Scout. I was so proud of him and very happy for him that he had worked so hard to accomplish this....its a big deal for scouts. But I had this overwhelming feeling of sadness for both of us, I...
His Birthday...

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Yesterday was Brian's birthday, he would have been 37...the sun shined all day, although it was so windy I thought we might have wound up in Oz, it snowed on and off and at one point we had about 2 inches, then it all melted...The old me would have...
Whatching sons firsts...

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Last night Matthhew and I went to the YMCA as we often do. He always takes the "deep end test", and he always comes away disappointed. Yesterday however...he passed!!! He was so happy and I was very happy for him, in the past he would be able to...
Thank you...

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I just thought I would take a minute to say Thank you to all of you. This sight has made a difference in my life, I dont know that I feel any better, I dont know if there is a better but I do think it helps reading your stories, sometimes I cry and...
feeling a little overwhelmed...

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Today I am feeling a little overwhelmed...I typically do okay. Okay in that I am able to get done what I need to get done, and take care of whatever my son needs. But today it all just has seemed too much, I just cant believe that I am left here...
doing my best...

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Today I attempted to help my son build his pinewood derby car for scouts. This was something Brian always did with Matthew ( I would whatch and take pictures). Instead of painting it he decided to buy a "skin" and apply it...well they had never...
new to group

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My name is Lauri and my husband Brian passed away unexpectedly Sept.22nd at 36 years old. We were together 18 years and during that time spent very little time apart...we just loved being together, so much so that all of our friends always teased...

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