Hi matthewsmom10,

I am so very sorry you had to find us here, but so very glad that you did. Yes we all understand here that although we have in many cases, many people who care for us, it's not the same as that one person who you KNEW without a doubt would forever be 'in your corner". And in a word IT SUCKS. I know all too well.

I lost my sweet husband inh early February, and am coming into one year now, and I don't think we EVER stop missing them. EVER stop thining of them, but I can say that now with the help of these wonderful people in this group who I have come to think of as family, I can smile while remembering him at times along with the other tearful ones. the smile are becoming more than the tears. I hope the very same for you.

18 years at the age of 36. Far too young, but alot of love in those years spent with you and your son. I hope in time that you can draw on that love. I have always believed it is there with us forever, and that they do live on through all tht we do. Your son will bring him along with him in everything he does from this point on, and through him he lives on. I know it doesn't comfort you now. It didn't me, but it's how i think of my sweet husabnd now, and how i hope you will be able to also.

HUGS of welcome, and UNDERSTANDING. Diane

Matthewsmom10, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Don on October 5, 2011. We were together 30 years, married 28. I understand completely your pain. I'm older than you and don't have small children. I do have grandchildren your son's age. We have a wonderful grief counselor helping us through this journey. She made memory boxes with the kids. They decorated them with stickers and markers. The decorations are all things that remind them of Grandpa. Inside the box they all have "treasures" that they can look at when they are missing him. They have pictures, old t-shirts of his, watches, lucky coins, the angel rock one of them gave him in the hospital. The list goes on and on. I just let them pick things that they wanted to have in their boxes. The kids are 3-13. May something like this would be helpful for Matthew to have when he's missing his Dad. God Bless You both. HUGS!

I lost my Joe to an accident on october 14, just ten days before our first anniversary. He was my rock, my love, my soulmate. We were together 12 years before finally marrying and I too am lost.
THis site has been my saving grace right now. God bless your little boy. My thoughts and strength are wtih both of you right now. It is going to be a long road.
You are blessed to have others around to help you along. Make sure you allow them to help you and take in their company. I found that being alone is so much worse.
We are all here for you 24/7. There is always someone on this site to talk to.
I found writing to my husband on the jouranl here helps me to say whatever I please to him and not sound like I am nuts.
Much love to you always, Ann

Hi,
I lost my husband Craig on Sept 28,2011.I have been with Craig for 39 years and been married for 31 years. I just relized that I havent had time to really think about what my life is going to be like now that I dont have him with me. I quess my sons kept me busy and with the holidays, I wasnt left alone much. I miss him and my son is so much like him , that I am reminded always of what I am missing. The holidays was hard but I put on a good face for all the grandaughters. I dont have any of my friends around anymore , they have all moved out of state. I quess that we just enjoyed each other and doing things together that we didnt miss having alot of friends. I hope I find something to keep me busy and I know I will always miss him.

Hi Lauri,
So very sorry that you had to join us but you have come to the right place. Here you will find so much understanding because we've all been through it and know the journey all too well. You will also meet amazing people, you will be cared for and be lifted up, you will cry with some, and believe it or not, you will laugh with others (I'm talking about Sal here)!
I cannot imagine what you're going through with your son at the age where dad's absence is so very apparent. Bless him and you and know we're all here for you. This is a tough walk but by joining together, we become stronger. There is a bond here like no other. Hugs to you, Sharry

Lauri I am very sorry that you have to join our group, but you will see that everyone here is absolutely understanding of what you are feeling. You are fortunate to have such wonderful support but you're right it's certainly not the same as having that one special person who is more dear to you than anyone or anything in this world. God bless.

Hi Lauri, I am so sorry for you loss but like others have said you definitley came to the right place. I have never met a more caring and understanding group of people. Come here often to vent, cry, laugh or just let it all out. There is always someone here to listen and not judge. There is nothing like talking (texting) to people that are also on this journey as others just don't understand. How could they, they have never been down this road.
I lost my husband on May 4, 2011 suddenly to an abdominal aneurysm. We were together 28 years married 25 of them. I don't have to tell you what those first months were like as you have went through it. When I found DS in month 7 things started to change and the healing really began
Wishing you some peace and healing for you and your son...hugs

Hello Lauri, I am very glad you found this site D/S it is the best thing you can do for your spirit.
My heart felt condolences for your loss of your young husband and this goes to your son too.
I lost my youngest sister Feb 9, 2010 and my sweet Carmelo March 27, 2010, he had liver disease and he was supposed to get a transplant but he became too ill and I had to let him go to God because he was suffering in so much pain. I know now, both my sister and Carmelo are with God.
I talk to God from the moment I awake, all day long and also when I fall asleep. I also talk to my sister and Carmelo, because I believe they are back with God and can hear me.
Just like your Brian, he is a spirit being who has left his physical body but he is still in your heart.
Hugs,
Judy

Hi Lauri,
I also am sorry you have a reason to be on this site with us. I'm glad you found this site. There is so much understanding and caring, it really helps to share and also hear others thoughts and ideas. The memory boxes sound like a great idea. A book sent to me for my grandkids is: Remember...A Child Remembers It's a child's journal that has questions to fill in memories of their loved one.
online resources @www.centering.org or 1-888-216-0101
I hope being with daily strength will help you know you are not alone in this incredibly hard journey.
Sallie

As I read these posts, I was overwhelmed by the love and support that emanates from them. I want to add my care and thoughts and sympathy to you in what you are facing. We all know how it feels. We all have cried, screamed, ranted, and fallen into depression (me, most recently). This is the greatest group of people here. More than ANYTHING else, the people here have given me love and understanding and encouragement. There is nothing you could say that would be embarassing, because most likely we have all felt or done it too. I just want to express my sorrow at your loss of your husband. Your son will carry on his father's legacy and will be a joy to you. I'm so sorry for your pain. Please come here often, 24/7, because someone is usually "not sleeping" and feels like reading or posting.
Kathleen

Thank you all for the kind words....you seem like a wonderful group of people. I am so sorry that any of us need to be here, but thankful that there is a place like this.....