it doesn't sound crazy at all... I know what you mean.....hugs to you and yours....

Your husband would be very proud of you for what you are doing. Nothing you said sounds crazy, it's just the way we feel. Your son is a lucky boy to have a mom who is so dedicated to him. Hugs

Not crazy at all. Very SANE as a matter of fact.

Everytime one of my son's 'our sons) have a problem. a man kinda problem, i do my very best to help, and then MISS Greg and his wisdom, his knowing what to say and what to do, the entire time.

Just know that he is so PROUD of you, and so is MATTHEW! He knows how much you care. and how much you love him. whther the car turned out perfect, or had ended up a total wreck, that young man is in AWE of his mom, and so is his DAD.

KNOW that. In loving your son the way you do, NOTHING yuo do is EVER WRONG.

Love, and hugs, and WHAT A MOM to you

diane

Of course you want him back.

I spent the first two months after my husband died wanting him back. It took that long for it to register with me that it was not going to happen.

I want back the life we had except I would be a much better wife if I had another chance.

Now I try to concentrate on having a meaningful life. It is wonderful you have a child to help you find meaning.

What you are feeling seems very normal to me. I want my husband back still, though I know it's not possible. It is just so darn hard...
It's wonderful that you are doing what you can to be there for your son.
You are blessing his life.
Sincerely, Sallie

If wanting him back makes you crazy, then we are all crazy. It took me months to finally accept my husband was not coming back. You know from day one that it is not possible, but that doesn't make you stop thinking about it.
Matthew is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have him. As long as your trying things will work out for both of you...............hugs

Your son will be proud of how you've helped it, its so hard when suddenly you've had to become the role of mum and dad. When I've tried to do things on the computer with our five year old ( Ric was always a whizz on computers), and not felt I was great at it, or couldn't do it at all, Thom has tactfully said to me " you're not as good as daddy on the computer mummy, but don't worry we can learn" and he accepts that no I can't be good and know everything, and yes daddy was better at some things. But ive learnt to be more patient with learning to do things, and if I get angry or frustrated, I leave it and try again later. It is so hard, and it's a reminder of what your son is missing with his daddy, but remember your husband would be proud, watching you both doing the best that you can.

My heart aches for you missing your husband and trying to be both Mom and Dad while you are grieving so heavily yourself. You did better than I would have done at least trying and I'm sure it means a lot to your son that you did try. Of course you want your husband to come back. Sometimes we just plain feel something and our feelings are all normal and they are not meant to be analyzed. I lost it in front of my children and grand children a lot early on and I don't even remember what I said now. I just remember I was hurting and nothing seemed to help.

Sending you many many virtual hugs as you move through these so difficult days.

(((((hugs)))))
-Diana

I understand your feelings. I have a 9 year old and he is not in scouts. Everything they do is father-son related and those boys without dads shy away from the group. Other dads do not offer to mentor these boys and that is a shame.

Maggie

Hi,

For months, I was trying to somehow figure out what I could do to change reality. It was the same for me. I wanted him back even though I logically knew it was impossible, but my heart kept asking for a reprieve from reality. Sending you hugs.

Shar

Your husband would be proud. The idea is not to make the perfect derby car, the idea is to do something together, and for your son to learn some of the skills required to make a derby car. I say mission accomplished.

You are an amazing woman and mother. Nothing crazy about wanting him back.....I think we all want that! I know sometimes I just wander the house as if I am going to find him or something ...so hard to realize he is just not here and never will be again! Words don't cover the emptiness. God Bless herriyou you are really special.....Hugs S

Bless you for trying to do it all. I'm sure your honey is proud of you.

I just want to reach throught this site and hug you.
This is so hard and unfair. Of course, you need him!
You son will always remember that you and Grandpa were there to finish the car.
If I could wish him back for you, I would.
Ann Marie

ur not crazy my wife pass away 3 years ago and i still want her back hugs