SeanPain

This month is always going to be the hardest one for me to deal with because april is when we would be starting up again with wrestling and that would have been yesterday......AAAHHHHHH i hate this...

I had my appointment yesterday with the counselor to get me started on the right road to a pscyatrist and the talk was good and then he asked if he could read my journal that i took with me and as he...

So today im all alone here at work as my boss is sick and everyone else already worked there hours through the night. I hate being all alone because i get bad anxiety attacks when alot of people are...

Well today was good until i had to go and pick up prescriptions for clients here.I was driving down the road and all i could think about was what does is matter that im here? I am here for no certain...

Isnt foldgers waking me up but it is coffee from my local marathon station and its great coffee and every morning that i wake up i go there and get a 20oz cup and head into work and that first hour...

I cant stand this geez.....i try and try but every thought that crosses my mind refers back to " Shaun Painlayer " and makes me feel bad no sick to my stomach about who i am forced into being now......

So thursday i had a strong urge to go and get a journal and start making entries on a daily basis so i could have something to take with me to my doc,therapist and psyc val appointments ( Along with...

So heres todays entryToday when i woke up i felt like the usual - Sad,upset,and just mad at everything but then i got to work and was actually happy that i had a detroit pick-up so i basically hit...

No entry yesterday just because i didnt have any time at all so while i have a minute here we go.So yesterday started off on a good note i was busy all day so i didnt really think about the wrestling...

Hey WOW the today and yesterday have actually been pretty good days, I havent really felt down at all and last night i was forced to work over my shift by two hours and i didnt even really get all...

Well for a sunday today wasnt a bad day as sunday's are usually the worst day of the week for me but thats a work thing and this isn't work...,So yeah today wasn't to bad for the most part i got...

Ok so one more lousy hour to go and thats only if they dont drop something in my lap last minute like always and i just dont wanna go home,I wanna leave work but i dont wanna go home and i have...

Hey guys i wasnt here at work yesterday so ive gotta catch up with yesterdays events as well as how i am this morning.I was in a really good mood yesterday until my wife got home from work and kept...

Today started VERY VERY BAD as i rolled out of bed and sludged my way to the shoulder i went and played some music and i nearly missed work because of how bad i was breaking down in the shower, I...

Well since i have the option of a journal here on DS i figure why not use it.I have always had symptoms of depression but it was never bad and overwelming like it is now,My dream was always to be a...