SeanPain

I am a warrior inside this shell of what i use to be but its just so hard finding that warrior all over again....i NEED to find him i NEED to find me i NEED to open my eyes again to what and who i...

So i went to my 2nd psyc doc appointment today and told him about my situation and he said since it has really affected my job and the security of my job he wanted to try me on HALDOL and see if that...

How many times does god have to kick me in the nuts before he is happy? If there is truly a god then he is very melevalent and hate filled to let these kinds of things happen. The ONLY THING IN MY...

Ok so ive decided that toward the end of the night here at work i dont care what lies outside the walls of the building for me at home. I WILL watch what i have to on youtube to get pumped up and hit...

Yesterday when i got home from work i went inside and chilled out on the game for a bit until my wifes show came on and i turned it off so that she could watch it, All of a sudden i felt like working...

Ever morning i wake up take a shower get dressed and go to work without even thinking about it i do it. Every morning after i do this i start to fall back down into my mood and its starting to...

Ok so i know that we cant entirely control our emotions after all were all human and therefore flawed....But why in the hell am i allowed to float through life these last few years out of control...

Im feeling better than what i have been lately but now today im starting to revert to the depressed pissed off sean that cant stand to be around anyone all over again. Atleast my psyc doc appointment...

This is so horrible....last night after i started to freak out for a couple hours on end here at work i had to go home because i couldnt see straight and i was starting to throw up so i went home and...

Last night i got home and i went to the garage and had a pretty decent arm workout and then went in and played a game for the playstation move and had a hell of a cardio workout with that lol my...

I dont know...i just dont know, Throughout the day i feel so lost and alone, I havent felt like this since i was about 14 years old and just sat around and thought about getting in the ring for the...

Ok the weekend was very good to me and as a matter of fact the majority of last week was as well, But today im starting to feel the depression coming back to me........ Its a faint feeling of what...

Ok so after a random chat with a friend here on DS im feeling better ( Not good ) during the talk i had two massive panic attacks and damn near passed out from them. You know who you are and thank...

So as of this very moment i am done with trying to get any kind of real help for how i feel and the things that run through my head that i want to do to myself.I made a last minute appointment with...

I am so sick of being here-no one cares no one even knows that im still alive or that im in this much pain every single day that i wake up..Im truly ready to leave this earth and be done with...