I guess im still here
Well today was good until i had to go and pick up prescriptions for clients here.
I was driving down the road and all i could think about was what does is matter that im here? I am here for no certain purpose anymore because fate or god or what the f**k ever is out there spitting on my life ripped my purpose in life away from me.
And because of that fact i have fu**in had all that i can take...i cant go through life without my passion,without my connection,without the one thing in this shi**y fu**ed up world that never once judged me or laughed at me or made me feel undeserving and it never left me but now we are forced apart.
I hate this world and besides a few dozen or so people everyone in it.
Friday is my app. for me to meet with a counselor to setup a app. for a psyc val. but im seriously doubting if i can make it to the psyc val because its going to be atleast 2 weeks from friday if not longer and even if i can make it to the psyc val will it even make a difference? I cant answer that, this feels so heavy that i just dont think that anything that they can prescribe or reccomend to me will help lighten the load its just to heavy and im not strong enough to hold it for much longer.
I was driving down the road and all i could think about was what does is matter that im here? I am here for no certain purpose anymore because fate or god or what the f**k ever is out there spitting on my life ripped my purpose in life away from me.
And because of that fact i have fu**in had all that i can take...i cant go through life without my passion,without my connection,without the one thing in this shi**y fu**ed up world that never once judged me or laughed at me or made me feel undeserving and it never left me but now we are forced apart.
I hate this world and besides a few dozen or so people everyone in it.
Friday is my app. for me to meet with a counselor to setup a app. for a psyc val. but im seriously doubting if i can make it to the psyc val because its going to be atleast 2 weeks from friday if not longer and even if i can make it to the psyc val will it even make a difference? I cant answer that, this feels so heavy that i just dont think that anything that they can prescribe or reccomend to me will help lighten the load its just to heavy and im not strong enough to hold it for much longer.
Replies
I hate this Sean . I hate this attitude u are having. You have to Try EVERYTHING you can before you give up . Going into something with a negative outlook very well may bring a negative experience. I wish so much that I could be there to help you along thru this in person. it seems you need a really good friend. Give the evaluation a chance, give meds a chance, just keep trying . i know u can get thru this. ur a strong man , whether u see that or not . Hang in there