onlyup
Status: Tired of shit.
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- I had an awesome day yesterday, layed out in the sun gardening good music, nothing could bring me down. I really apppreciate those kind of days and cant wait til its more often.
- Well another day that starts off so clear and within just a few hours things start too go to my head. So I am praying that there is peace in my life for most of the day. I could use prayers and good thoughts. I could use a days break of my mind....
- I was at a 4th of July event and I got triggered twice the weirdest one was that there was this guy that looked like my psycho ex husband except for the tatoos all over his face that says hellbound. He is in prison for life but while I am looking...
- I feel that the last 24 hours stress has put me back to day one of healing. I dont want to live yet I wont kill myself. I just want to cry and dissapear......I guess that my man thinks I should have progressed faster. That if I just go to AA i will...
- I went to my vehicle and saw this shmeer on my window it made me have a flashback and feel everything I never felt before. My ex psycho husband when I left him finally was stalking me everywhere I went. He stalked me at the womens shelter,friends...
- I quit drinking about 1 year and 3 months ago. My boyfriend was an alcaholic and has been clean and sober for along time. I know he does not like me to drink. I only drank for 3 years but it was everyday. I was self medicating. I have been so...
- I am sitting here completely numb and alone. I just want to cry and I cant. I dont even know why. Well I guess I do. My kids are selfish and treating me badly because I dont do what they want. I have no friends to hang with just me and my mind. I...
- A couple days ago I wrote about my daughter and the way she treated me . I went to bed, woke up and decide I am not going to let this get to me. I had a great day yesterday, layed out in the sun,read 25 pages of a book and was able to understand...
- Last night my youngest daughter asked me to babysit overnight her 2 kids. I have let all my kids know that sometimes I cant handle kids because I have to be in the right place in my mind. So I told her that I was not up to it. Her reply was that I...
- So my man is in a couple of bands and I go with him to all his gigs. I love their music and dancing. I also help set up and take down the stage and sound. Yesterday I get a call about someone that wants to hire them. So I was setting up everything...
- I have been making progress little by little which is due to making changes in my insecure personality. Instead of worrying about what people think of me I say whats on my mind, stand up for myself. This is a whole new thing which is not...
- I dont have much to say except for I want to crawl into a ball and hide. I cant think any seperate thoughts they are all combined. Cant use anny of the techniques I usually use. Just sTUCK. i DONT EEVEN KNOW WHY i AM WRITING. tHATS IT.
- My oldest daughter came to visit with my 4 grandchildren rangong from 4 months to a 5 year old. It was a surprise..Which I have explained that I can not handle loud noises and alot of movement alot of the time. I have seen them 4 different days in a...
- I am laying in bed after hardly sleeping last night. My stomach is a mess and I am sitting here how did I have the strenghth to talk about my relationship with a man I really love.. Its kinda weird how I am standing up for myself not settling ,...
- I have an appointment at 2;30 today with the Social Security Psychiatris.This is an important appointment. I am all freaked out. Is it going to be a man or woman. I have to relivel everything again. Noooooo Then going to see family on a long drive....