Ellocin

I thought this was funny (so did my mom)....  A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.  They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets...

You know, I am actually feeling fairly good tonight despite things.  Yeah I still feel the cloud of depression looming over me and the physical aches and pains but that aside I actually feel pretty...

6:45pm.  Back is in pain still but since it's snow storming and I did as much as I could handle putting away the Christmas decorations...half done probably...I decided to watch a movie.  I FINALLY...

Almost 4am but I am winding down for bed.  Since my last entry I managed to sleep a few hours in the morning and woke up around noon or 1pm...still upset but manageable.  Forced myself to eat some...

Almost 5am and I'm wide awake, partially because I slept most of the evening, which I mentioned previously...and partially because I'm really mad, upset, hurt...I don't even know the right word. Was...

My doctors appointment went well...but now I have a lot of bloodwork and different tests to get done...on Monday I have to make an appointment at another medical centre to have an EKG done.  Also if...

Trying to think positive but really not doing well at that at all.  I'm in so much pain physically now and mentally I can't get my mind to shut off because of all the worries of the physical crap. ...

still really struggling but talked to my psychiatrist and the meds are a go if I want to which makes me feel a little better.  I've done the no med thing a few times and know that usually doesn't...

i'm so upset and overwhelmed and frustrated right now.  I'm soooo tired of dealing with this stuff, mostly the mental health stuff but the physcial health stuff too.  I feel like I am running out...

uhm...i need to research meds before picking them up from the pharmacy...just found out prozac can be associated with lupus-like conditions which means i'm not suppose to take it...i'm so frustrated

home exhausted had appointment with psychiatrist after discharge, meds changed again...because of the problems with my blood pressure.  Start on prozac tomorrow. cut last night before going back...

Sorry for not writing...I've been back in the hospital.  I'm suppose to be there right now but I left on pass....thing is I'm suppose to stay on the hospital grounds and I'm suppose to be back to my...

i want to give up so fucken bad right now.  i took 2 ativan (2 mg) and 2 klonopin (.5 mg) to try to calm down and neither one is doing anything.  I want to fucken yell, kick, scream, I want to cut,...

getting rid of this goal for the time being...it makes me think about things too much besides i burned a little earlier today

The jittery shaky weird feelings are mostly gone, which tells me that was definitiley from the meds...as is the feelings of everything moving and me floating, My blood pressure is getting back to a...