2songbirds

Saturday night...after I got home...I had to get out emotions from me thinking, putting pieces together. I wrote him a long note as he was sleeping. In the wee morning hours, letting him sleep, I...

Earlier today, with everything going on, for the first time since college, I had to write appts and stuff down on the calender, and in my cell phone. My mind seems so disorganized anymore. Between my...

recently it seems to be getting better. I rejoined the gym last monday, been busy reading my books, on here reading, etc. I let H read my journal entries which I believe really helped as he didn't...

I received the eight books that I ordered for both me and h to read today. I scanned through them before going to work tonight, and took "sex, lies, and forgiveness' to the gym after work...I started...

Today, as my day has gone on, got oldest off to school, tending to my 4 1/2 yo, and almost 3 yo, cleaning, thinking about what my night's going to be like at work tonight, I found a strange surge of...

I"ve been trying for the last 1 1/2 years to keep myself busy. Now that I"ve gone back to school fulltime (grad school), and working, and taking care of kids and household, things have subsided. I've...

((sigh)) I haven't been feeling well for 2 weeks now. Damn bad cold. My AF is due this coming up sunday/monday and the pms already kicked in..now...today after he got home from work he kept goosing...

well, we had our nightly sessions now 2 weeks in a row. This past week I took off the parental controls on the tv. I told him to go on the computer.His therapist told my therapist at their lil' phone...

he won't allow me time alone, to myself, my space. I had to yell at him the the other night...after him trying to F "ing lie to me....about him forgetting about 2 of our weekly sessions  together.HE...

I am seriously torn. I don't know if I should throw in the towel or not. I know he loves me, NOW,...I know he's trying NOW...but, the damage is done. The damage has been done. without him threatening...

Just as the heading...this deep dark place he triggered me in..It wouldn't have been as bad if he would've just kept his mouth shut that he forgot...I've gotten used of this behaviour over the...

Exactly as the heading. I feel like anymore he's trying to "catch up" on snuggling intimate time. I actually feel like he's smothering me. I can't stand it sometimes. I want distance, I NEED my...

I'm here, just reading various stuff on DS, playing my FB games that I use to relax me and such...and I glance down at the clock on the computer. Notice the date. at this time it was 12:30am. It was...

I'm going to address this more with my therapist on monday, but i'm noticing the panic attacks aren't subsiding as I thought they were. I'm having black out episodes, best I can describe them. I...

So, I know that H discussed what happened during the last two weeks with his therapist and his SA group. It affects him too. However, there's no discussion about it between us. He said that through...