fluterify

I don't know what to do any more. I've had enough. I feel traped. :'(

My time is doneI've come to an endMy last goodEternal life ForeverThere in heavenYet not on earthAfraid to goBut in way too much Pain to stayThe way outI know not yetThat shall comeI am sorry.

Time is tickingA ticking bombThat hurts no oneBut takes its self outLike a candleBright and beautifulTo dark and deadSome tick fasterOthers slowesBut in the end we all go outSo why rush it?

I don't know what to do anymore. I am in so much so much emotional pain. I just, I, I don't know I could... Never mind. I couldn't do that to people.

Peolpe want me to be fine so that is what I shall be.

You can batter and beat meThat's your choiceYou can yell and screamCruse and cuss That's your choicePull and tugMe down this dark pathIt's still your choiceBut don't Don't make me believe what you...

I'm ok today, had my freak out yesterday. But I am really nervous about my doctors apointment today. I don't want to but I know I have to tell him.

Actually decided I can do this today, live. I'm not going to listen to the thoughts that tell me to jump.

Why am I fighting to stay alive? It's not like it matters, like I matter. I live as though I will amount to somthing knowing I won't. I'm young sso how can I be in so much unexplained pain already?...

I don't want to go on. I fear the other side but am willing to go there. I really could do this.

I'm scared of what I plan to do. So why do it why not just abort? Because I'm in too much pain, I can't take it any more. I'm actually going to do this. :O

18 years 9months 3 days

Day by day, I'm here often way to often feeling this way. What keeps me here? Why can't I just kill. Like I kill inside. Make the inside and outside match.:'(