fluterify

I don't want to go on. I fear the other side but am willing to go there. I really could do this.

I'm scared of what I plan to do. So why do it why not just abort? Because I'm in too much pain, I can't take it any more. I'm actually going to do this. :O

18 years 9months 3 days

Day by day, I'm here often way to often feeling this way. What keeps me here? Why can't I just kill. Like I kill inside. Make the inside and outside match.:'(

Still feeling ok. Not even upset that I have to see my dad.

A little stronger today. Still having thoughts but I know god is on my side and he wont let me die. Feel more like I'm back climbing this mountian of life than falling down it.

How much longer can I hold on? I want to let go for good. :'(

I'm going to OD. I've already cut. What does life matter. :'(

Really I'm fine I promise. It doesn't matter that I want to kill myself. Not like anyone cares. I want to cut, I want to starve, I'm going to die soon I hope.

I'm shakingI'm so scaredI don't want to live anymoreI don't deserve toI am all aloneNoone really knowsNoone can really tellMy life is a lieI want to dieI don't want to sinI just don't knoe or care

I don't want to be this way any more. :'( >:(

I don't know I've had 2 good day and yet I still feel sad. :?

Yay, for the first time in about a year I've actually been happy. :)

I want to kill myself but I do not want to sin and end up going to hell. :'( Don't know what to do. :(

How do I feel? I feel left, lonley, unloved, unwanted, unprotected, sed terrified,insane, fat, ugly, stupid, fedup. Along with a host of other unknows. :'(