Thanks BTR - your story means a lot. Good to know that you were able to mend your relationship with your son - that gives me hope. Good luck on your interview today Gabriel.

Hello Everyone.
I took the first step a couple of weeks ago after being confronted by my partner (who is now my ex) and I admitted to having a lying problem. I am currently seeking therapy for it and it's amazing to look back in my life and see how this behaviour started and got more and more intense as years progressed. I am so sad that my partner has left me but thankful that he made me recognize and face a huge consequence or else I may have continued this behaviour later in life as well. Congratulations to everyone for taking a step into admitting the problem- it takes a lot of courage.

Hi,
Unfortunately I'm back at square one. Last night I lied for no good reason again. I have admitted I have a problem and I'm in the process of getting help. I'll keep taking things one day at a time, remembering that I can't let my guard down at any moment.

Hi,
Unfortunately I'm back at square one. Last night I lied for no good reason again. I have admitted I have a problem and I'm in the process of getting help. I'll keep taking things one day at a time, remembering that I can't let my guard down at any moment.

Hi Pabs04! Sorry you had a slip last night. One thing to consider is that I don't count it as a lie if I correct myself right away. I'm not sure if that fits your situation or not but either way keep your head up and focus on today. I suffered a pretty bad relapse after a week or so and had to start over again.

Today is day 11 lie free!

8 days and counting don't know where one goes to make better use of this site which someone would respond

8 days and counting don't know where one goes to make better use of this site which someone would respond

Day two without a lie. I'm going to a 12 step group tomorrow, has anybody here tried that?

Day 12 lie free. I am slowly starting to see some positive signs of trust coming from those I love. I think before I speak and am finding it easier to decide if what I am about to say is true or not.

Hi Memphis - sorry to hear your partner left you. It is good however that you are seeing that as the catalyst for making some positive changes in your life. Many of us here on the site are here under similar circumstances. Hang in there and take one day at a time.

Pabs04 - Welcome. I'm glad you are here. Stay strong and remember that none of us can do this alone. It takes help from a higher power and support of friends you will find here. I hope you found the 12 step group helpful today. Many of us on the site are attending 12 steps groups for various additions. I can't stress enough the value of going through the 12 steps for liars and working each and every step. Being addicted is being addicted. The 12 steps help addicts like us. Here is a link to it: http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/liars-anonymous/discussions/messages/9426111
Stay strong.

Ron - Welcome to this site and congratulations on 8 days in a row! We have been a little quiet on here this week but you are welcomed and loved.

Gsness - Congratulations - 12 days! Woo-hoo. If you are starting to see positive signs of trust coming after just 12 days that is amazing (or maybe you have been working on this longer then 12 days but that is how many you have in a row), that is a miracle. Normally it takes much longer than that.

To all newcomers I would say go back and read past posts in this thread as well as the other threads on this site for good advice on how to deal with our problem/addition of lying. Stay engaged. I know it is not convenient time for some but at this point we only have one online call every Thurs at 5:30 PST / 8:30 EST. Information on the conference call can be found here:
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/liars-anonymous/discussions/messages/12274224/page-9

Hi! I'm not sure what happened with my old account (Pabs04) but the password recovery methods I tried were not working. So here I am, its Pabs044 now.

I went to a 12 Step meeting today although it was for a matter unrelated to lying, well at least directly. I really liked it and would encourage others to attend, even if its not necessarily about your particular addiction. (Check though, before hand to make sure it's an "open" meeting, not all meetings are).

Today my struggle has been trying to determine the underlying triggers for my lies. I think that at the core of my lies is pride and a significant repulsion to confrontation.

Today has been a good day for introspection and another day lie-free. Realizing the damage that I have caused loved ones is hard to witness however and knowing that the damage will take a long time to heal is rough.

Hi everyone! I have returned from a rather extended time away from the site and discussion. It is truly wonderful to see so many making use of this site. Liars Anonymous has certainly made a difference in my life. I look back to how I was behaving, and living a life of lies when I first found this site, and am so grateful to Laura and those few who had the courage to come forth with this common issue we all share. My life has changed quite a bit over the course of four years. I can say that I feel much happier and am becoming the 'real' Greg, not the one who hid behind layer after layer of lies and fabrications. There have been extremely difficult periods, and I have lost my partner of 20 years, all due to my lies. The hardships and losses were inevitable, and bound to come about as the delicate balance of lies began to unravel. But now I have a life that is simpler and open. I have maintained a strong relationship with my two boys, and have met a wonderful woman with whom I am able to share everything. The past still rears its ugly head upon occasion, but those moments are faced and dealt with, not ignored and pushed aside. We all have the strength within us to overcome this powerful urge to lie, and when we feel that the strength is lacking, we have everyone here to give us support.
Take care,
Greg

Iswan662, I have been working on this for a while but had a relapse. So I started over 12(now 13) days ago. My family forgave my slip. There are still a lot of trust issues to work through but things are looking up. Things are far from perfect. I am noticing that people are starting to see that I am taking steps to correct my behavior and are very supportive. Another benefit is that I have been able to prove what I tell people and they are starting to ask for less proof. It'll be a long road but I am prepared to go the distance.

I am having one of those guilty feeling days. One of my struggles is letting the past go. I find myself feeling guilty for things that were completely out of my control. That was a main cause of my lying. I took on responsibility for things that I shouldn't have and found myself lying to make people feel better. So far I have made it through the guilt without lying, but I have to really break down the situation in my head:

Is this something I can fix in my current situation?
Is this something they want me to fix?
If I can fix it and offer my assistance, is it something I am prepared to follow through on?

If the answer isn't yes to each, I offer an ear to listen with.

I would like to congratulate all of you working on eliminating lying from your lives. Like Greg I can attest to the beauty of becoming lie-free, although my 109 days pale by comparision, it is liberating - not painless, but honesty has represented a freedom I have not previously enjoyed... ever.

Like others, I have found assistance in the form of a 12 step program, therapy, group therapy, meetings for another addiction, accountability people, calling, slowing things down and thinking before speaking. If I do catch my self telling a whopper, I correct it immediately, no matter how embarassing I think it might be. Happy Thursday to all.

Hi 'borntorun', what you say about honesty representing freedom is so true! It is liberating to speak honestly, and not have the shadow of a lie clouding everything you say. Your 109 days of living without lies is a great achievement! Don't compare what you have accomplished with what someone else has done. Each day must be looked upon as a new day, with the resolve to face it honestly and openly. Yes, I have managed to live these years honestly, but each day I face could be the day I give in to the impulse to lie. I do feel good about being able to change my life, but I still look at it as 'one day at a time'. Everyone who gets through the day with honesty can be proud of that day.
And this Thursday was another good day!