I don't hate myself, in fact I'm actually proud that I've been able to learn what I have, and I realize that I have the tools to manage this on a daily basis. I'm able to see it working even if nobody else does.
That's of course one of the issues we face. Nobody notices if you stick to your word. If you slip, though, you can count on it being noticed.

Hi, my name is Matt and I am a liar. I can't remember the last time I was honest with anyone. I plan on checking in daily, I hope to become a better person worthy of the friends and family I have around me.

Welcome Matt. Wow. So I completely lied to my husband AGAIN. Because we're looking at schedules, he asked me a question about how many hours I'm being paid to work. Early this year I took a small cut in pay hours without telling him, justifying it because we could afford it, because I wanted to and because he probably wouldn't care. Since things between us are smoothed-over and he is beginning to trust me again, I didn't fess up to the cut in hours. Just bald-faced lied. I am so frustrated with myself and yet I don't feel like I can go back to him and tell him the truth when his trust in me is so tender...Ack!

I suck

Today is my wife's birthday, and I can't even be a part of it because of my history of lying, and my most recent lie of omission, which was the last straw for her.

i suck

Sorry you're having a rough day Hawkstone. I totally empathize with the feeling of shame you're experiencing. But for me, I am grateful for the shame because it's going to be a motivating force in my healing process, a long healing process. Take care.

Thanks, I'm not just having 1 rough day. I'm having to deal with the fact that the last 14 years of my life are trash, that everything I've tried to accomplish has been a waste. i do understand that i needed to feel pain to admit that i needed to change. What really sucks is that I need to give up everything now, when I feel I've learned what i need to do. i guess that's going to make the message stick.

Hi, my name is Rod and I'm a liar. I've been honest for about 23 hours.

Hey Rod. Welcome. Hawkstone - I respectfully think that you are engaging in some all-or-nothing thinking. I don't know you but I can't imagine every part of the last 14 years have been trash and that EVERYTHING you've tried to accomplish is a waste. I think that the journey we are on is to recognize that we are enough without the embellishments and the exaggerations. We are enough even when we make mistakes and disappoint people through our human actions. Once we all realize that, that's when we can be really honest with ourselves and everyone else.

Hi Rod, and welcome, I read your journal, and can relate. I know that my dishonesty also began as child of very strict parents, and lying became a habit to avoid disapproval and punishment.

Thanks again Committed for the support. I hope your husband is able to be understanding as you learn to handle this problem.

I'm realizing a little more every day. It's hard sometimes not to blame yourself when your world is crumbling around you, especially when someone is trying to make you believe it's all your fault. I'll add more to my journal, since I don't want to make this too long, but I do believe I'm able to recognize the reasons for my lies, and I don know what to do.
i also have come to the realization that I'm not a bad person ( I already knew that), and my situation would be a whole lot different if I had chosen a partner who was more accepting. I'm not saying I didn't have problems being honest at times, and I know this is something that needed to be addressed, It's all part of my working to become the person I want to be, that I can respect., and hopefully others too.

Hi, my name is Rod and I'm a liar. So far I've been sober for about 12 hours.
God, why is this so hard. And two stupid lies today. One, I saw my doctor and he asked about my taking Ambien. Instead of just saying I take one every Saturday night so I can get one good night sleep a week I made up some stupid story involving work.
Then I told a friend that Thursday night my wife said she was going to have me served with divorce papers when she really said she was going to file papers. I guess it's small but why didn't I just say what it really was.
The sad part is I don't even realize it until I've already done it.
Well I can just hope tomorrow is a new day.
And yes, my status is still the same, still praying I don't wake up in the morning.

Rod, I hope that you have help aside from this forum. Feeling the consequences of our lies is one thing, but not wanting to wake up in the morning sounds like serious depression for which you need help. I work with prisoners. Every day I see the amazing capacity of the human spirit to survive and thrive in the midst of really stupid choices. YOU are not the stupid choices you've made or the lies you've told. You are good at heart. It's the distance between our goodness and our actions that causes our suffering. Take care everyone.

Hi I'm Rod and I'm a liar. I've been sober now for about 28 hours or so. I'm on a roll. Hope everyone is doing good. I'm better. Fortunately time heals most wounds.

Hi my name is Rod and I'm a liar. However, it's now been like two and a half days (bet you thought I was going to say men) since I've lied. That's a good thing.

Lying feels like a non-issue in my life today but that's exactly when I need to stay attentive. I feel like this time I have to stay conscious so that I don't slip up and forget the consequences lying has had in my life.

i don't have anything to lie about (or anybody to lie to for that matter) right now. The trick will be to make sure that this sticks when the pain has lessened. I don't want to ever forget what this can cause.