Hey. Checking in. I'm Kaity and i'm a liar. Today is a new day.

Grrr. So I told my husband my lie of omission but I was scared of his being angry so I spun it, avoided the part that might make him the most angry until the end of the conversation at which point he got really angry that I didn't tell him straight up. I don't know how many times I have to do this until I GET that the avoidance is the demon I am dealing with and if I just shoot straight early on, it doesn't have to get this way. I am so disappointed with myself yet again.

I think I am glad you are disappointed with yourself rather relieved you made it thru even if you had to not disclose everything. I may have something from my Alanon meeting that someone gave as a possible coping tool or skill. I have not used this yet, but look forward to developing deeper and more reliable relationships with my network to have it. It's called bookends. When you have something of a confrontation or meeting of concern coming up you call someone who knows you and your issues and listens to you as if they were your husband and then you have your conversation with him and then after you call a different person that already knows the issues and circumstances to provide support, comfort, etc. I have this as a goal to have in place by June 1st if not sooner. I hope your turnout is better than you had hoped for.

I am MRB and I am a liar!

Good morning. I'm johnny and have had a couple of opportuninites today already to lie and not just be straight forward wih my wife. I stopped both times. She seemed a little disgusted with me but is acting better than when I lie to her! It felt good to be straight foreward on little things and the consequences small. Baby steps. Hopefully it gives me more courage to tell the truth in the bigger confrontations

Hi, I am Greg, and I am a liar. I have been a member of this site since August of 2009. Finding this site was one of the best things to have happened to me in my quest to get rid of lies from my life. I have not been checking in here very much for the past while, mostly because my life has improved quite a bit since I joined LA. The improvement in my life is directly attributable to the removal of lies from my life. I have slipped up over the past year and a half, but it has been by confronting past lies, and taking responsibility for them and their consequences, that has brought about such an improvement. I still must remain vigilant every day, or hour, or minute to guard against that impulse to lie or embellish something, or lie by omission. But it does become easier as time passes. Slowly you learn that people will accept you for who you are, and what you think and say. The truth is always easier. I read everyone's stories, and they all carry echoes of each others story. Read past posts, and you will find common themes running through them. You will recognize yourself in accounts put down by other people here. It is helpful just knowing that you are not alone with this problem, and that others have been able to overcome or control it and lead happy lives. Yes, it is a hard road, but the rewards are immense. Stay strong everyone!

Thanks Greg, it sounds like working on this will lead to some better days ahead.

I everyone, I am MRB and I am a big fat liar. I am having a stretch of 30 hours of lie free. I hear my way of thinking inside of my head justify things and rat ionize things to my benefit then I fit the story to the justification. I don't know if anyone else sees this inside themselves but Laura O said to a post a few days ago, we lie to ourselves the most. I see this on a few different levels. Even when I am not blurting anything out I am thinking ahead of what I have shared with this person or how I portrayed myself to that person instead of being authentic. I am praying for my higher power to remove this character defect and my thinking becomes consistent with my reality. I can then start to be totally honest and not worrying about just not lying. There is a difference. I am looking forward to focusing on pure thoughts for today.

Good luck everyone, I am MRB and I am a liar!

Hi Johnny checking in. I have been a liar but have been truthful for 1 whole day!

Trying to make this work, attempt #2

Good Morning Everyone! Hope it is a peaceful and lie free day!

I am thrilled to see so many active posters at this time! Keep up the good work!

My name is Laura O. and I'm a compulsive liar. I've been feeling a little on the down side lately and quite can't understand why. The feeling is more comparable to if I had some big lie I was hiding from someone and didn't feel like I could tell it. But right now in my conscious level there's nothing I can think of that I am hiding from anyone. As some of you know from my recent journal I told my boyfriend the lie I had told him (omission) from the beginning of our relationship a couple of months ago and it went over okay and so there's nothing left to tell!

It's quite a weird feeling - not having any secrets. Has anyone been here before? It's almost like an empty feeling? I actually haven't really thought of this concept until just now, writing about this. I guess you could attribute it to detox for an alcoholic or any other drug addict. We rely so much on our secrets as our defense mechanism and wall around ourselves to keep others away from our "true" vulnerable selves, that when all those lies are gone, or the alcohol is gone, or whatever, initially there's a scary sense of nakedness.

Like I've lost my best friends - all those lies I've told and secrets I shared with no one were like imaginary friends that I took pride in, but that also hurt me. It's time again to accept that those friends are gone, and that that's okay. I can seek out new friends, meaningful friends that will support me and not hurt me.

Laura O.

Good morning, I am MRB and I am a liar. I appreciate your post, Laura. I agree the lies were on a certain level like a fix would be to an addict. Not thinking of any consequences but needing to cover the pain or inappropriate choices. The depression comes and goes I think because that is what we learned to feel when we were lying. The euphoria of getting away with a lie to the feeling of shame or guilt that comes when yiu realize you were wrong or going to be in bigger trouble. The other thing I read on other blogs is that lying compulsively is secondary to other personality or behavior issues. For me, I am extremely codependent, this has the similar experience of mood swings and inability to deal with reality as it comes then things build up to a point were it is not dealt with. I hope you are feeling better for sharing your thoughts, that is probably the healthiest way to deal with it. For me, when I feel bad or get into a crunch I usually do not reach out for help and find myself lying to myself that I am feeling better than I do. Is that a lie? I think so.

Good luck everyone, I am praying to get through today with another lie free 12 hours.

MRB

Checking in, spent the evening hanging out with friends and did not make up any stories. Thats an improvement

Good morning and thanks Able13 for your post. Glad you had a lie free night. Two things I have noticed and read about lying compulsively, first the anxiety I feel when I am in a group makes me feel inadequate and I build myself up kind of like a short guy who wears lift. Shoes to feel taller. I noticed I lie extremely fast in those incidents. I am exploring if it is really that or am I just a BS artist? I can deal with the anxiety by writing out my 90 second fodder of who I am and what i am doing. This will get things started in the truth. The other thing I read and would love your feedback on is procrastination. I read that one of the the traits compulsive people have is controlling when and how things are being done subconsciously. That leads to being late or putting drama into situations where it wouldn't be if I pulled my weight. I am going to have a goal for this coming week to be prepared for everyday and build a list of things that I have to get done before I leave. I will compare this to the person I was last week where I did not turn in my expense reports on time and now my AMEX bill will be due without get ing my reimbursement and it dominos everything. I will let you know how it goes.

I am MRB and I am a liar!

Thanks for being here and letting me know that I'm not alone.

My name is Rod and I'm a liar. I've not lied for 1 day now.

Good morning Rod and everyone on this site, I am MRB and I am a liar. I have had my third day of being lie free. I have a few things that I have seen that let's lies and exaggerations live for me. I love music and when a song comes on that I really connect to I had this fantasy that I was a song writer and it was one of my songs, I know kind of weird but it made me feel connected to the song. I bring this up because having dreams is not the same thing as having goals. These seemingly innocent fantasies for most people would not be harmful but for me they continued on my need to be someone else. Don't get me wrong, I still want to achieve things but I want to find the real me. My point this morning is to make sure the thoughts visions you have are real, this can elevate any exaggerations or impulses to recreate yourself. I also stopped buying lottery tickets and do not plan on allowing myself to think I could win. Again for most people that is probably OK, but for me I fantasize on what life would be like, etc. I am trying to really get rid of thoughts and images that perpetuate a false self. I pray this testimony helps you too.

I am MRB and praying for one more day with out lying!