Hi I'm Rod and I'm a liar. I haven't lied in I think three days now. I say I think because I've been doing this for so long sometimes I don't even realize I lied for a few days or even sometimes never.
I'm taking this a day at a time. I've wanted to write more consistently but life seems to throw me a curve ball and it takes all the steam out of me. At this point I try not to get get mired in self-pity. I force myself to do things with people, talk to people, or just get outside.
My biggest challenges are times like this. I'm discouraged about something so the first thing I tend to do is lie to pump myself up. I guess I feel that if I don't have good thoughts about myself, how can others.
But when I force myself to be around others I also then try to be more cognizant of what I say, thinking while I'm talking to just be real. Don't try to impress.
I guess that's my challenge for tomorrow. I was thrown a curve ball this evening so tomorrow I just have to strive to be honest.
Thanks everyone for being here.
Rod

So this morning my husband asked if I called our accountant like I said I would. Fact is, I thought about it several times. I just didn't sit down and make it a point to do it. I put other things first. He asked this morning if I called. I said NO. The truth, a start. He was irritated. Then I followed up with, "I thought the number was in my phone and it wasn't and I didn't want to pay 1.79 for directory assistance." A bald-faced lie. I didn't think the number was in my phone. I was just trying to justify my procrastination and make an excuse. I was aware as I was doing it and yet I still did it. I am really disappointed with myself and also committed to using experiences like this to create greater consciousness of how pervasive my lying is. I am really happy not to feel alone in this. Thank you all and best wishes for a great day.

Good morning, I am MRB and I am a liar. I wanted to follow up on my confrontation to amend my lie of omission I posted yesterday. I called my mentor and let him know that when he asked how is everything going, I panacked and felt like I was 15 all over again and did not want him to have negative feelings towards me and told him everything was going OK just making some adjustments; this was really a lie on two fronts. I called him back the next day and shared with him how I feel when I am confronted and how I wanted him to be impressed by me and have no negative feelings. I shared with him my need to be as HONEST as possible so I am sharing with him my regret and his friendship meant more to me than my need to cover up my feelings and what is going on in my life. He was grateful that I thought enough of him to call him back, he sensed something more was going on and was concerned for me. He did say he liked me better as a human than as superman. My first real taste of owning up to my ways. I also, had two other HONESTY checks, a plastic bag flew out of my car when I opened it up and at first I did not chase it. When I waas leaving several minutes later I pulled off the side of the road and chased it 50 yards into the wind, kind of funny to picture but really is an effort to be transparent. Also, I forgot to pay for a newspaper at a coffee shop, I read it and after I left I went to my car and went back in and paid for the paper. I did not lie about it, I shared with her what really happened. I usually share the gloom and doom but wanted to share a few victories, this is really a victory for all of us because I am feeling like I am accountable to this group to be a role model and live up to my word to try to be HONEST, and also stop lying. One day, one decision at a time. God Bless the will and stregnth I am receiving, I am MRB and I am a liar.

MRB, I love the image of you chasing that plastic bag. Thanks for sharing that. It made me smile as did your successes. Good for you!

Hello everyone, I am MRB and I am a liar. I had an interesting experience with a therapist that I have seen a few times. He continues to want to get to the beginning of my need to isolate thru unreal truths. I shared with him several stories, but one really stood out. When I was in second grade I was in a school play, my mom did not show up, she even forgot to pick me up. When it was over the school clears pretty quickly, I realized she was probably home passed out. My thoughts were not to ask for help or even a ride home. I remember instantly covering for her and wondering out before anyone could see that I was scared and embarrassed. I went across the street to a gas station and waited until the school cleared out, I walked the mile and a half home in the dark on the south side of Indianapolis. Two things happened that day, first this is where I truly stopped relying on anyone, which actually helped me survive my childhood, secondly, I started my lying in it's compulsive form. I covered, embellished and became bullet proof while everything at home was chaotic. I had a hidden childhood that I shared with no one, and never revealed the truth of my needs, hurts, fears, or affection. Instead I began to control what anyone heard or didn't, my life was a lie. I know I can reprogram slowly by making conscious choices and volunteer how I feel, ask for help, and be able to accept it with a grateful heart.

This one bit of clarity has allowed me to know I have a long way to go, but hope in finding peace and forgiveness is comforting. I pray for one more day of honest intentions and sharing the truth, I am MRB and I am a liar.

Good morning MRB and all. I am behind on a lot of things, work and home related. I am worried and anxious. I think that when my emotional state feels like this, I am more prone to lie because I don't want to feel any more uncomfortable than I already feel. But for now, I am committed to feeling what is and encountering this day with truth and with acceptance. Hope everyone has a wonderful, truthful day.

good idea. I am a liar and today is my first day.

Hello everyone, my name is dess and I am a liar.
today is my first day of being honest... and I am totally terrified.
I don't want this to be like all the other times where I swear to change and then fall back into old habits. I guess I am going to really have to take this one day at a time-- not make huge grandiose promises for any other day except for today.
I really identified with the post that committedtoheal said on 5/14 about doing one of those half-truths... telling the truth and then qualifying the statement (or leaving out things) with a lie to try to assuage some guilt. I am pretty sure that activities like that are going to be what I really struggle with-- although i have in the past made up random stories to make myself funny/fun/awesome. the person that I totally love and drove away/made hate me because of my lies would say that I was "twisting"... I am really glad to hear that someone else does it.
I want to heal- I need to recover. I am going to go to a codependents anonymous meeting within the next 3 days.

Hello everyone, I am MRB and I am a liar. I have been really working on being appropriately honest. What I mean is my first few days I was too honest and didn't filter what was really too much information, etc. At my alanon meeting today the theme was about denial. I definitely know what denial is all about, it is a form of dishonesty when you know it's happening so denial turns into deception if you do not address it. Good luck everyone I am MRB and I welcome our new members.

Hi I'm Rod and I'm a liar. I've been honest for about two days now. I keep slipping but now I'm more aware of it than before and I hope that will assist me in stopping the lies before then spill out of my mouth.
Today was interesting. My boss forgot to tell me something I was supposed to do. When she realized it she came up and asked me if I'd lie when asked if the task was done.
I said I would but was uncomfortable in it. Fortunately the subject never came up so I wasn't put in that awkward situation.
I've found that there isn't any rhyme or reason or importance to whom I lie. Saturday night I lied to a waitress. How silly is that? I didn't need to impress her, didn't need her approval, didn't even want her attention.
She asked me if I'd ever been to the restaurant before and instead of just saying I'd been to two of them I said I'd been to others. God, how messed up is that?
As soon as the words came out of my mouth I was kicking myself.
I guess that my awareness now is sort of a curse. Before I never realized how much I lied, now that I'm realizing it and admitting it can I do something about it.
Thanks.

Hi All. Today has been interesting. I reread a part of Tolle's New Earth this morning. He talks about finding purpose. The purpose of your life, he suggests, is what you are doing right in this moment. The purpose of my life right now is to sit at a coffeeshop and write this to you, feeling the cool breeze, hearing a siren. I feel like I've been meditating all day. Today, I feel like I'm embodying the one day at a time (and one moment at a time) philosophy rather than just understanding it rationally. . So many of my lies, our lies, are rooted in fear of what people will think of us if we tell the truth and show up as we are as. We hide and evade for fear that things might be uncomfortable later. The purpose of my life is to tell you all the truth in this moment and to send each of you compassion and love and encouragement to live a better life. If you are reading this, breathe deeply and feel the energy and vitality in your good heart. Appreciate that you are alive in this moment no matter how badly you've been feeling in the past. It's a new day, a new moment. Be well.

Daily check in....today i am not going to lie....

Hi All,
Dess, it really does help to take this all one day at a time. I encourage you to hang in on this site, Even if you just read posts, come back every day. You'll find it makes a big difference. I had a really big conversation with my boss this morning. She asked me some pointed questions and I gave her the honest truth, completely and totally. And it felt GREAT. No hiding, no evading, no dancing around. We got to a better place and I felt wonderful afterward. I am grateful for all the encouragement I get on this site. Hope you all are doing well today!

Checking in, starting over again

Good Morning everyone! I'm Laura O. and I'm a liar. I haven't told any bald face lies recently, but I've noticed when I try to be more aware of what I'm saying to others that I have been doing a bit more embellishing lying than I normally do. So that's my goal for today is to not try and embellish my stories, even if I think it will make me sound like a better or more exciting person.

Today I will accept that my life is just as it should be, just as exciting as it should be, and that my Higher Power is leading me to do and say the right thing. Thank you all for being here and being on the site all the time.

And for the all the Newcomer's please KEEP COMING BACK!!! Like everyone here says, that really is the best thing you can do for yourself right now. If anyone wants some reading material to try and help understand your disease, feel free to send me a message privately!

Laura O.