Hey,

So. I'm a liar. It's a compulsion I did not understand (or chose not to, I suppose) for a long while. Then my web of lies caught up to me, and I'm desperately trying to keep my personal life from slipping any further down the tubes. I cheated on my girlfriend, she found out, I swore I wouldn't do it again, I did it immediately again then stopped. I eventually told her that I had continued cheating, and now I want to win her trust again.

I guess what I am saying is that I want to find a way to be accountable for when I lie. I figured this was a good start. Does anyone else have any ideas?

Thanks

Well Tae, since this our own little version of a 12 step program, all I can do and you may be the same is keep coming to meetings (here), talk about things and hopefully it'll work for all of us
I'm glad to see someone here today, I was beginning to think I was the only person coming here.
So far for me it's been a little over 3 days since I lied so I'm happy about that.

Hi Tae,
Happy to have you here. I think that accountability is the thing. Fact is, most of the time, there's a payoff to lying. You get to entertain and you don't have to let people in on your mistakes and you get control over your world. And, let's be honest. You get to do what you want to do without having the pesky problem of letting a significant other know about it. But we wouldn't all be on the board if we hadn't experienced the very ugly other side of it. Lying destroys intimacy in the end. It keeps us from feeling like we're worthy of self-respect. But I do think we need to acknowledge the loss of what day-to-day can feel like an easier way of life...

Hi I'm Rod and I'm a Liar. For me it's now been 4 days since I lied and I'm about as happy about that as can be. I owe it to this group and while participation seems low it still feels to me like someone is listening, I can be honest about my problem and hopefully talking about things will help my stay honest.
Thanks Everyone

Awwww. That's nice Rod. Glad you're feeling better. It's going to be a great spring day. Just gotta look outside to remember that just when things look like they'll never bloom, BOOM, blossoms, leaves, miracles around every corner. We are nothing less miraculous.

Hi I'm Rod and I'm a liar. It's now been 5 days since I've lied and I'm pretty pleased about it.
Thanks all

Im a liar is this were i go to be honest. Its kind of humorous to see this chat.
First time here. You guys are lying

Oh hey James here.

I lied yesterday about not eating sugar but I started eating it again. I have been feeling undisciplined since I chose to not eat sugar, made that decision public and then gleefully fell off the wagon (chocolate cookie with m & m's...totally worth it). But instead of telling folks, "boy did I fall off the sugar wagon!" I just pretended like I'm the model of discipline, that I'm, well, perfect. I don't think of myself as a perfectionist, but there is definitely an element at play there...

Crap. I lied yesterday. I was writing something here, I heard my boss coming, I minimized my browser and turned to look at my computer. When she came in she could tell I wasn't working and I lied and said my system crashed and was rebooting. Crap.
Well, that was almost 24 hours ago so I guess now I can restart my clock and say it's been a day since I lied. I's going to be a continuous struggle but with help from here I'm hoping it will get easier in time.

Hey all,

thanks for your responses before. Things are going better now, I am finding it easier and easier to tell the truth about things of increasing difficulty. I am actually feeling much happier. But the temptation to lie is still very strong, its like an auto go-to for me, and I have to constantly keep myself in check. I'll try and post here more often.

Rod, don't be too hard on yourself. It sucks to feel like we are tripping down the same old path of lousy choices, but it's important to recognize that it is all about developing patterns. It will get easier in time, humans are creatures of pattern, and it is difficult to break and old one. Once we make a new one, however, it is just as difficult to break as the old.

Hi everyone, I am new to the site like many of you I came here because I have been lying about stuff and exaggerating about my past and my family for so long that I have made a mess out of my life. I was called a "pathological" liar by my wife and instead of fighting I went online and looked it up. It seems to match me perfectly. It seemed to be pretty doomsday but a few sites recommended to see a therapist. I did and he gave me a clear and concise explanation. First, I have had significant childhood trauma and dysfunction that heights my codependency on others and my low self image and esteem wants to project to make me bulletproof and my ADD just has no filter. I am starting Wellbutrin in the morning and continue to see him for at least 16 weeks, and he wants me to begin a 12 step program, I am going to something called the Adult Children of Alchoholics meeting and find out how to get involved. I am motivated to change my ways as I am sick of feeling sick and ashamed. I know I have a problem with this and want everyone to know I have had 2 hours without lying. Thanks.

Is there any way to feet the thread from recent to older rather than on mine it goes from oldest to newest?

Anyway, I did not go 24 hours without telling a lie, one good thing is I either stopped 70 percent of them and had three lies that I walked off and said dad gone it. I think for me it is as much of an impulse control as anything? Maybe I am justifying it but I tried to keep attention on how I felt and think about how to avoid letting it out or reversing it if I did say one. Anyway, thanks for the thread and the site, I am a liar and want to pray for tonight and tomorrow to be lie free.

This just appears to be going around in circles. Often when I tell lies I believe them at the time and afterwards in horror realize what I've done. Sometimes I tell lies consciously with the intent of influencing people and sometimes I suspect part of me imagines that, in creating a 'reality' for others, I'm gaining some control over my world. My early childhood was confusing in this regard as both my parents told several major lies for many years and kept a lot of very dark secrets. I suspect I started lying as revenge against them but find it difficult at my age, 65, to remember exactly how that felt or how conscious I was of the process. As I've gotten older I tell fewer lies but every now and again one sneaks out even after years of psychotherapy that focused on just this problem.
Lying is considered morally bankrupt by just about every culture but for reasons I can't figure, politicians are expected to tell lies all the time and we all put up with it and pay them well to do so. Strange !

I'm Wendy and I lie. I want to figure out what honesty means to me, how I want to be. I'm tired of lying and pretending that I am perfect, the best, or what I think I should be/ am supposed to be/ what I think others think I should be... I want to know within myself that I am lovable and worthwhile whether I lie or not, when I make mistakes, when I'm truly me. Can anyone relate?