Today I am aware how my irresponsibility plays into my lying. Months and months ago, my daughter was collecting money to give to a charity that we support. I could never get around to getting the box of money to our church. One day, to get rid of the big box of money, I poured it into Coinstar and made a note to send a check to the charity. I didn't send the check. This morning, my daughter was asking about the box in front of my husband. I felt cornered and afraid and ashamed. I said that I sent a check. The shame of the irresponsible act and the procrastination involved with keeping the box in my car forever all added up. So today, I will be aware of shame that I am hiding so that things like this don't sneak up on me. Wishing you all support in your journeys of truthfulness.

Hello everyone, I am MRB and I am a liar. I met a guy from my 12 step program out last night to get to know him better. He has been in the program for about 3 years. I noticed something that we all tend to do, we work the program up to the point of justifying our behavior and then we stay there because we feel whole. I think this happens even to people I have met that have been coming to meetings for over a decade or two. They are still in denial that either they can be the issue and not a victim. My goal is to be honest, I need real support to continue to give me clarity even when I am completely wrong or off base. The only support I have found to be true and unconditional is my Higher Power. I would have never expected this, I am not going to begin to judge others work in their programs, I pray they continue to rely on their higher power and not stay on a comfort step. I hope to get to the point where I am doing all 12 steps in every decision or purposeful thought. That will take years of work and prayer and guidance of my God to redevelop my character into an image that I will know and love. I am so far from there but I am one step, one day closer. I am MRB and I am a liar.

checking in today as usual. This is a good way to start the day.

Hi, I'm Rod and I'm a liar. It's been about 12 hours since I lied.
I've made an interesting observation in that time. Lately, most of my lies have been when I'm talking quickly or under pressure. If I respond to something in discussion is when I have the greatest propensity to lie. What I need to do is slow down, think what I'm going to say before saying it, make sure it's not going to be a lie, then say it.
The same thing probably applies to under pressure. I was confronted at work yesterday and just quickly responded with a lie instead of thinking about it for a second then tell the truth.

Hi my name is dess, and I am a liar. Today is my fourth day of being honest- although I do find it most helpful to not think of honesty in the totality of days and instead focus on each moment (thanks for that advice guys!). Checking in this morning, and I wishing everyone an honest day.
I have been reading a lot of these posts and really relating to most of what other people have been saying. Committedtoheal: I had a really interesting realization at my coda meeting the other day that might relate to your work on shame. I found that part of the reason why I lie is because its more comfortable then admitting to myself my flaws. I tend to be scared to do this because when I do, it plumits me into a downward spiral of self hate, shame and depression- all feelings that I don't know how to deal with (thus the lies). BUT at my meeting on Tuesday someone who has been in recovery for a while shared a really interesting insight with us: when you remember that your feelings are just reactions to actions, not reflections on who you are as a person it becomes easier to start looking at youself honestly and addressing your negative actions. When I REALLY got this, it made it a whole lot safer for me to start being honest with myslef- which translates into being honest to my loved ones.
Have a great day everyone- and thank you for this commuinty. It helps. A lot.

My name is Brad and I'm a liar... I've been lie-free for two days....

Hi I'm Johnny.

I have not posted in a few days but I check this site daily, and usually more than once a day. Thanks to everyone who posts. Some of you have spouses or significant others who support you and are willing to stand by you through this time. I do not. It makes it very difficult for me. I guess God is telling me I should just let her go. I'm afraid if I do that I will not be able to see my two wonderful daughters. Not sure I will make it very long without seeing them or without my wife's (soon to be ex) support.

I haven't lied or exaggerated in 3 days.

Hi Johnny- I just wnated to let you know that I am a similar situation as you are. My lies have pushed the person I love more than anything into becoming someone I don't even recgonize who HATES me. Keep strong and I try to use the serenity prayer when things get hard. Stay honest and be true to yourself!

Hi I'm Rod and I'm a liar. It's now been a little over two days since I last lied. I'm going to try to slow down my conversations with people this week, think about what I'm going to say before I blurt out some lie and hopefully that will keep my honest.

Hi All - Welcome to Monday. I am just coming off the high of playing out as a singer'/songwriter for the first time last night. It was a little rough in spots but it was a big goal and I achieved it. I encourage everyone to focus for a few minutes on something you're really doing well these days, even if it's something small. Today, I commit to continued mindfulness. Rod, I am with you on slowing down before I speak. Taking a breath before launching in and possibly telling a lie. That also goes for making impulsive decisions that lead to lying. Slowing down, being in the moment is so important. Blessings for a great day.

Three days so far......let see how today goes.

Hi everyone, I am MRB and I am a liar. It's always hard to accept that I am a liar, but it is humbling to realize my behaviors unchecked have hurt people and broke their trust in me. I don't feel humiliated by saying it to you as they are no the same. I had a difficult day today, it was my first court date for my divorce. Although sad, I was happy to get thru it. After the court I met up with a good friend, I started to tell him what had happened and embellished what the drama played out, I wanted him to be on my side so I stressed the points that were in my favor. I willl make sure to set the story straight tomorrow. Someone at my alanon meeting said the way to see if you are getting better is look at the time between and action and an amends and if it is getting shorter than your are being successful in your program.

I am MRB and I am a liar.

Thanks for sharing MRB, I really enjoyed the part about the time between action and amends. That really hits home for me today. My name is Laura O. and I'm a liar. Today I will be working on not embellishing my stories.

Thanks Dess for the encouragement. Never thought that I wud cause someone to HATE me as much as my wife does now. I have a hard seeing time seeing that I am this monster that I have created that no one wants to be around, at least that's what she says. My counselor says that's her way of "pushing back" to my seeking help. It's her way of trying to push all the responsibility on me.

I'm Johnny, I have lied and still trying to live moment to moment.

Day two.....getting better....