Hello,

My name is Eric and I have a habit of lying and bending the truth and I want to stop and be the guy I used to me before I ruin my marriage and friendships.

Thank you

Welcome to LA Eric, we're glad you're here :)

Laura O.

Hi, I'm Rod and I'm a liar. This stuff is so insidious it's frightening. I realized today that I lied yesterday and I didn't even realize it until about 24 hours later. It was really a semantics issue but still a lie.
Since coming here I am doing better, listening to the other stories and reading the struggles of others. It's still the small stupid things that are screwing me up now.
Like yesterday.
I went to an AA meeting tonight and listened to the speaker and did find a few things to relate to.
I don't have any big epiphanies to share lately, just that I'm taking it a day at a time and with a hope and a prayer I'll get stronger and work through this.
Thanks

Eric checking in

I am really trying to make amends to the folks I have hurt with my most recent untruth. This one lie has affected not only my wife, but our best friends. It needs to stop and I need to find the guy I used to be.


Making an effort to ensure I stay true to form. Have not lied or stretched the truth in the last 24 hours.

Following the 12 step rule.

Thank you

Anticipating a difficult conversation today with my friend, I realize how much my mind is working to "spin" the conversation to make it easy for her rather than telling the truth. If I got paid for how I can spin the truth until it's not recognizable, I'd be able to pay off my mortgage! But on the upside, my husband asked me whether I registered on time for a conference and I fessed up to the fact that I didn't and it cost us $45 extra dollars. He was pissed but just for a minute. That's a time when in the past, I would have lied to cover my tracks and then worried about hiding the receipt or whatever. So, I am making progress and experiencing the reality that the truth is always better than a lie, no matter how uncomfortable in the moment.

Good for you. Your husband should be a little more patient, seeing as you are making progress. Very good!
Keep up the good work.

Good Morning everyone!

My name is Laura O. and I am a liar. Last night I realized that I've been lying for a long time to my dad about how I feel about his girlfriend. Everytime he talks about her or I'm around her I feel like I pretend to like her when I don't. I pretend to be happy for him when I'm not. I'm tired of it, but not sure how to confront the issue, or whether I should confront the issue. I feel like I'm just continuing on the tradition of participating in "Lying as a Family Disease" just like I did when I was growing up. I'll explore this more in a journal entry sometime today.

Eric - Glad to see you're keeping up with the site. I guess I never thought of recovery as "getting back to who I used to be." I guess the way I look at it now is that in my recovery I'm finding out who I really was meant to be all along, but got sidetracked somewhere through living in a dysfunctional family. Now that we're aware of our issues with Compulsive Lying, it's like we can't go back to being who we've been in the past... we're too aware of ourselves. We're now living at a higher conscious level of being. So instead of trying to get back to somewhere you can never go back to, try focusing on forgiving yourself for who you've been and change yourself to become an even better person!

Committed - Progress is awesome isn't it!? It's the small steps that add up to the big steps. Try to remember today that you setting a boundary with another person is never for their benefit, but is to protect yourself. If you truly believe that setting this boundary is what needs to be done, then it doesn't matter how the other person reacts. You need to do what you need to do to protect yourself. I wish you the best of luck today!

Laura O.

Thanks Laura O. I am grateful to everyone on this site. Realizing that I will need to be accountable to you for my own recovery is so helpful as I take a breath & go out into the the world telling the truth.

Good morning everyone, I am MRB and I am a liar. I am glad to see more postings as it helps me really know how everyone else is dealing with their problems. One of the hardest things about blowing my wife's trust is I mostly exagerated or lied about small things but frequently, i embelished things about me but I was never a theif or a cheater. I don't know why I wasn't but I had an honor code that was strict but did not include stealling from anyone or taking advantage of anyone or their circumstances. It sounds illogical but that is really how it is. I wanted to get everyone elses take on this, did you lie cheat and steal?

Thanks, I am MRB and I am a liar wanting one more day of truth.

Good evening, I am new here. I am 47 yrs old. I lie about many things. I am discovering why I lie, the pressures I placed on myself, how I wanted to be perceived, etc. I got caught in a very bad lie involving family finances that has put my family at risk. I did it once before and my wife asked me to get help. I didn't. I thought I was OK. She began to prepare for life after me and 25 years of marriage. We reconnected in December and then she gets nailed with this last betrayal. She is upset. She should be. But it shocked me into action even though it was not the best way to seek help, it would have been better to just do it on my own.

I have sought therapy and have had 4 sessions with a company supplied therapist. I am also beginning the transition to a local therapist that will also help with marital counseling. I am lucky my wife is strong. She is confused but she is still there for me in most ways. She wants a separation or divorce so that I can get better and we can start anew. She is on the road for most of the next four weeks and that should bring some clarity to the issue. Obviously we can't afford for me to move out and I don't want to discuss the nuclear option without the help of a professional. So for now, I sleep in another room and we live as a separated couple.

In the end, I am a liar. I told lies today. I am willing to start anew in the morning. I am happy I am taking the steps necessary to resolve the issues that started me on this path. They are hard but necessary. I hope I can be of some support in here and not just a cautionary tale.

Welcome dsore. I hope you find solace here that you are not alone and inspiration from all of us who are committing day by day to make our lives better by simply telling the truth. Yesterday, I had a really difficult conversation with a friend. Overall, it went really well. I told the truth. I was direct. I was honest. At one point, she asked me a question and I exaggerated to keep from hurting her. I am now more aware of what happens when I exaggerate or lie. My voice gets quieter. I keep my eyes down. I feel it in my solar plexus. So, I continue to take this all day by day. Sending you all support and wishes for a great day.

Welcome dsore. I hope you find solace here that you are not alone and inspiration from all of us who are committing day by day to make our lives better by simply telling the truth. Yesterday, I had a really difficult conversation with a friend. Overall, it went really well. I told the truth. I was direct. I was honest. At one point, she asked me a question and I exaggerated to keep from hurting her. I am now more aware of what happens when I exaggerate or lie. My voice gets quieter. I keep my eyes down. I feel it in my solar plexus. So, I continue to take this all day by day. Sending you all support and wishes for a great day.

Good morning I am MRB and I am a liar. I am understanding the disease of addiction and the 'fallen self' principal. For me I lived in a hidden place that I controlled what information I gave and what I wouldn't. Both are a lie. I see how I can live a life going forward without beating myself up more than I should. I have found Grace from my higher power. For me this means Going forward I need to change my behavior with positive improvements and have acceptance that I am a liar with a compulsion problem that uses lying as my drug of choice. I am forgivable and able to grow from the pain I caused. I feel I can see where I was wrong and know I am better than the person who was lying all of those years. It's complicated but knowing Grace is a very good place for me right now. I lied by omission yesterday and am going to confront that today with renewed strength from this group. I am MRB and pray to be honest today.

Hello I'm Johnny and I have been a liar. I see myself relating to almost all of the stories here on this site.

MRB: I have been getting the same "used" feeling from my soon to be ex-wife. That's the downside of living in the same house. One counselor told me that I am feeling that way because I am not trying to cover up any of my lies with her now. I don't feel the guilt. She has to realize that she can't enjoy the "perks" of being married if she is the one wanting to get the divorce. She still wants certain things from me but does not want to support me in getting better. I don't want to leave my girls but I have to do what's best for me to get better.

Also, MRB. I am the same way about not cheating or stealing outright. However, I had deceived others financially which was to my advantage. As far as that is concerned I think I was using those two attributes as "get out of jail free" cards to play when I was caught in lies. I could say, "I never cheated or stole or killed anyone." I hope that makes sense.

DSORE: Welcome to the site. I also waited, in my case, til it was too late. I had been getting a little help over the years but never took my disease seriously. It seemed I was just buying time til I won the trust back of my wife and others in my peer group. I applaud your wife for supporting you. I would give anything to have that. But on the other hand, if my wife's attitude stays the same as it is now I am better off moving on and getting better for my two girls.

Rod: I have to constantly remind myself that I have been a liar and to watch everything I say. I do this by putting notes and phrases everywhere to keep this problem I have to deal with at the front of my mind. I put the notes on the bathroom mirror, visor of my car, etc. I even laminated a few to carry in my pocket so I am reminded every time I reach in my pocket for my keys. I put them everywhere I look. I have them on my phone also.

Laura O: Thank you for all of your hard work and resources you have supplied us with. I am very appreciative of this site and your commitment to get better.

Thanks to everyone here.

I am Johnny and I have been a liar.

Johnny, you're very welcome. I am only passing on the gifts that others have given to me in my recovery and I hope that you will do the same :) In return, I can't express enough gratitude for you all who visit the site every day and keep coming back, and that you even joined in the first place. I don't know what made me think there might be others like me out there, but I knew I didn't want to be alone. I never thought there would be this many. I wouldn't be as far along in my recovery if it wasn't for you all. So thanks again.

Laura O.