Hi folks! My name is Greg, and I am a liar. It has been a while since I have checked in here, and it is good to see that people are finding it and using it. For all the newer members, I hope that you take the time to read all of the past posts. You will find that we all share similar experiences, and many of our stories are very much alike. I still struggle with the compulsion to tell lies, and probably will for the rest of my life. But it is the feeling of accomplishment and the knowledge that I can be honest which keeps me going. Every time I don't tell a lie and choose honesty is another victory over this compulsion. The question of good karma coming about from us telling the truth is a good one. I believe that good karma will come about if one continues to be honest and truthful. The lies one has told in the past must be dealt with. Their repercussion will not disappear as time passes. It only seems to intensify the longer the lie is out there, and the lie must be dealt with. In dealing with past lies, you are righting wrongs, and this will ultimately better everything in your life. Sure, it may not seem like it at the time, but in the long term it will manifest itself as good karma. Am I making any sense? If anyone wants to discuss this in more depth, or just wants to talk about our shared problem, send me a note. It is a struggle, but you can get this under control and live life as an honest person.

Thank you, lovetoswim and randii for your opinions (: And I agree with both of you. Im glad I am realizing my mistakes now rather than later, and I will accept the consquences whatever they may be. I just hope that in the end, I will be content with myself and my life and that my dreams for my future wont be destroyed because of my past lies.

Hi, I'm Ron and I'm a compulsive liar. It’s great to actually get some dialog going. I think lying is another addiction, but not to a substance, to a behavior. It has a high that comes from someone believing my lies. It has a coming down time. I mainly have lied to avoid conflict with my wife, both lies of omission and outright lies. I think I can stay in recovery by having a relapse prevention plan and identifying the risky situations for me to be in that cause me to lie. Then, I can make a plan to deal with those situations differently in an honest way. I need support to help me through those times when I am tempted to lie. That’s where a support group like this comes in. We have a habit. It’s NOT WHO WE ARE. But, we are responsible for our actions and have the consequences of them. I can only start to reconnect with my true self after getting help and staying in recovery from the lying, “recovering” my true honest self.

Well said, rdeage... lying is a behavior or habit, NOT an identity. If we choose to change, and do the work to change that behavior or habit (especially if we work the causes).

Hi, my name is Shay, and I'm a liar. I have been on my path to recovery for a week. I believing for deliverence.

I'm up to six days again.... little inconsequential stuff tripped me up last week and I had to start again after 9 days clean. We surely CAN do this... it takes commitment and vigilance, but anything worth having is IMHO worth working for....

Today was okay I did tell one lie today and it was about something so meaningless that there was no need to lie. I hate when I lie like that. Those are the worst one to me ( the ones I barely detect until after it is spoken) smh.

This is so hard-little lies surely do trip me up! I certainly believe that I should be the vigilant one and not up to my friends to have to point things out-my friend just drove home the point that now she thinks everything I say is a lie-even about the little things-no one should have to live like that-it is one thing to harm myself but to harm the people that I love, well, that is going to be a hard thing to forgive myself for and I am struggling to not beat myself up and do the best I can.
Donna

Those little lies are sometimes hard to identify... I'm trying to decide whether a mis-remembered detail counts as a lie. If there's no intent to fool, is a mistake a lie? I have a honesty streak that dates back to the 24th (nearly two weeks!) and I'd like to keep it running, but damned if I can decide whether that's legit.

As for harming friends, just do your best, and make each day a little better. We can't rely on the folks around us to catch us when we slip, that's our job... and then we just self-correct and explain what we really meant. Good friends won't mind, and if anyone stomps off in a huff, mayhap they weren't so much our friend to start with...

Do people here think it is necessary to go back and think of all the lies they have told and try and make it right with the person you told the lie to? I can not even remember what I have lied about or said unless it is pointed out and gone over and then trying to explain why and what I was thinking at the time is nearly impossible. If someone will never understand why I tell stupid lies and am now trying to take one day (one hour) at a time to be vigilant now, but they want a list of lies and to go over, how do you handle that?

Hi. My name is Joey, and I'm a liar. I've been honest for about a day. I've just recently accepted that I'm a liar and i'm finding out that there aren't many places i can turn to for help.

Welcome Joey, glad you are here. For DBlack – I don’t see the value in trying to seek out and correct every single past lie, but it depends on who and what the lie was and whether it merits an amends, like in the 12-step tradition.

Good afternoon. My name is rich and I've been a liar for longer than I want to admit. I was caught in a huge lie two days ago by my wife of 15 years and that lie has serious implications to our marriage. We've been married for 15 years and I've destroyed any of the trust and good will that we've had. This is the third or fourth time that I've done this where the stability of our marriage was in question. My wife has forgiven me in the past and I've told he that I'll change, but I feel helpless in doing that and obviously haven't changed the behavior. I've always taken the easy way out and lied when confronted with a situation that will rock the status quo. The hurt that I've caused my wife to experience makes me feel ashamed, humiliated and unworthy. I need to change my lying behavior as I don't want my marriage to end and to rebuild trust and good will with my wife. I tried to find a group that meets in my area but couldn't and found this group online. I'm hoping that I can overcome my character flaw through this group.

My name is Jarred and I am a liar. I'm a new member and lies have literally destroyed my life. I'm trying to rebuild my life, and will welcome any advice and critism. I have to change, the cost is already too high..

I realize this is going to be a rookie question. What if someone you care about lies to another and inaverdantly puts you in the middle it it.