Checking. I'm Bonnie and I'm a compulsive liar.

Checking in.

Keep moving forward! 1% rule.

Day 32...lie free...moving forward

Hi all, This is day 8 of no lies...life with my wife is really hard right now. We both agree that the marriage we had as we knew it is over. Today is the 1st day that I believe that that might be a good thing. Our life together while built on real love was not built on truth. My lies tore everything we stood for down. I sacrificed her for the better of myself. That is something I will never do to her or anyone else ever again. I believe if we can grieve the loss of that life and stay together we can start to build a life of love and truth. She says we are together for now and hopes that I can find a way for us through this but she doesn't see how. I promised I would find a way for us. truth isn't just being honest. Truth is trusting that the person who loves you doesn't care what the truth is as long as they get to share it with you. If you are lucky enough to find that than it means you deserve to have it. Hold on to it and fight for it. Don't be afraid to forgive yourself.

Stay strong out there. And have each other's backs.

Hello. My name is David, and I am a liar.

Day 33...still staying on the path....the ability to be truthful is a great thing, whether to yourself, your loved ones or others. It's tough for the trust to be regained...but regain it you all will, just don't give up...it is tough and it does hurt from time to time...

Colo39 I pray that things get better...it takes two to work regaining something that was lost...and hopefully he will recognize that.

Keep Pounding!

Nice, GhostMike. Nice.

I'm gonna use this sometime:
"Truth is trusting that the person who loves you doesn't care what the truth is as long as they get to share it with you."

This is my wife. And this is why she's sooooooo angry. She can heal from the sh1t I did, but what she is having trouble healing from is how I lied to cover up the sh1t I did.

So I hope that you don't mind that I use this quote.

THanks.

jlsrbl...

of course I do not mind. I wish it was something I knew 8 years ago when she and I got together. It sounds like we are in similar places. Nothing is ever so bad that admitting it won't make better. Covering it up...scheming...that is where the true damage is caused. My wife knows the deepest darkest of me ...she excepts all of that. But she can't see past worrying about what I may do to protect myself when I feel threatened. We have the ability to sacrifice people who love us. That makes us a danger to them. True healing cannot happen until we can prove to ourselves and our loved ones that we will never hold ourselves above the people we love.

Stay Strong friends

Hello, my name is Felicity (which I will admit is a lie, because I would like some anonymity) and I am a liar. I've never been diagnosed, treated, or spoken with anyone about it, but I've been a liar all my life as far as I can tell.

Admitting it, and admitting that there is a problem that needs change, is going to be my first big step. I hate it. Because then I have to remember things. And I hate it because it does nothing but breed mistrust between my fiancé and I.

What he suggested doing was to not focus so much on changing, as much as when I catch the lie, to then turn around and tell the truth. Basically, admit you lied, confront it, and move on. We'll see. I am committed to changing because I HATE this part about my personality.

checking in, another day in the books.

Daily check in.

Day 34...no lies told...each day is getting with my own truth...and still learning more about me, and learning my mate all over again, but this time with truth. Still making assumptions on attending events together, while not an expensive error made but still a lesson learned.

Your eyes get opens to things that lying blinds you to...and once you start that becomes clearer and better every day...no telling lies to cover up other lies to remember the lie told...so Felicity welcome...I have been there and know the struggle...but I can tell you when you face your truth daily and choose not to lie the MENTAL relief you begin to feel is a wonderful thing. I ignored things that I should not not ignored that affected my life....and I am taking strides slow and steady to recover and plan accordingly....

Keep Pounding folks!

Logan61... a couple of questions, if you don't mind...

Can you expand on what you mean about "making assumptions..." ? I feel as though I do that very selfishly, and not just with my wife, but with others. So I feel that while this isn't lying, it comes from the same selfish place that the lies come from: Selfishness.

Also, about how lying blinds you to things... is there something specific you're talking about? I'm obviously not where you are in your recovery, because in my new life of honesty, I'm not sure my eyes are open to things. So I'm curious.

I mean, I believe that old platitude "the truth will set you free". I feel the chains of my lies have come off, and life seems new, despite the fact that I'm embroiled in picking up the pieces of my marriage.

Thanks. Checking in today. I'm John, and I'm a liar.

Thanks Logan61....I know it takes two, he knows it takes two...I gues he's trying to figure out if I'm part of that two anymore. Quite frankly, I am having one of my strong days today and feel like saying "You know what you insufferable, unforgiving butt....we've all got problems, we all make mistakes....I'm addressing mine and trying to change....are you addressing yours...of course you are, my talking to other women, so kiss off and let me know how that other woman works out for you cause I assure you she has problems too!!"

In case you haven't picked up on it...strong, stubborn and tired of being crapped on and made to feel like I am monster kind of day...when quite simply I am human, I've made mistakes and I need forgiveness.

GhostMike....love this!! "Truth is trusting that person who loves you doesn't care what the truth is as long as they get to share it with you." I don't think I ever felt safe enough with my husband to share the truth.

So anyway, Day 33, lie free, thanks for letting me vent. I know I am not being empathetic to what I have put him through right now, but sometimes you just got to learn to love yourself, the good and the bad, and stop worrying about what other people think. Worrying about what he thinks of me right now is not going to make me better.

Welcome FelicityJ...prayers for you and your journey.