1. Do Not buy a firearm.
2. Do Not join a Shooting Club or NRA.
3. Observe the No Contact rule as much as posible...especially if you have ignored Rules 1 and 2.
4. Exhaust yourself before going to bed. This does not mean you should go shoot your X and run all the way home.
5. Practice a calming mantra. the phrase "I will kill them" is NOT a calming mantra.

i just thought this was a great post and we should resurect it again - ill start with the obvious from a recent post by myself - red flags dont change colours trust in yourself and your insticts .

If you are a parent:

1.-Do not speak negatively about your ex in front of the children

2.-Dont expose your kids to marital conflicts

3.- ASK FOR HELP from friends and family, if you need to. Remember, asking for help is not cheating.

4.- Talk with your children before any changes in the living arrangements occur.

5.- Remind your children that you love them

6.-Tell them that your marriage problems are not their fault. Let them know they are not responsible for fixing them.

7.-Tell them about changes in living arrangements, school or activities. Let them know when they will happen. But do not overwhelm kids with details.

8.- Be emotionally available to comfort them.

Emerald Eyes has it right! Water and meditation helped me a lot in the 1st 2 weeks.

All of the above, but not all in one day. Don't try to do too much at once. Take time to relax, renew, revive. Try at least one new hobby; make at least one new friend. Crying is good - then breathe in, and be still, tell yourself that you are safe.

Realize that this too shall pass. Though it feels worse than losing someone to death, know that the pain will lessen as time goes on. Initially, it seems like your life has been turned into a jig saw puzzle that someone threw in the box and then threw all of the pieces up in the air not caring where the pieces would fall. Though it may not seem like it, you do have a say in your final destiny. You can choose to be defeated or you can pick up the pieces determined to make it through by putting one foot forward at a time. It's okay to cry and feel what you feel, just don't allow those feelings to consume your every moment, thought, and action. Do what ever you need to do to get back up again! Life is precious and you must learn to make it through no matter what. This is a great place to receive support and to find your way back with others who at one time were or are where you are right now.

Don't use drugs (illegal and otherwise0
Don't drink

Do yoga
Smile daily even if you don't want to
Eat well; lots of fruits and veggies
Tell people that you love that you love them
get a massage
(for the ladies) paint your toenails a bright color!
act like a kid (climb that tree! build a treehouse, play in the dirt)

Um... masturbate, if you don't have a partner!

Hehe...

thank you for reposting this!

i have something that is SO IMPORTANT TO MY HEALING AND WANTED TO ADD IT

dont watch the local news..they always have things *to do around town* no matter if it was something he never would go to - whatever festival what ever concert..what ever was happening i was sure he was there with the whore, so moral is..make your own plans that make you happy and do your best to forget about em

Let crap pass you by...really
Get out in social groups (singles, hiking, etc), make a new life around people that make you feel good....DO NOT RESIST the cleanup time, take charge of it. Decide who is going to have access to you and how, based on how they make you feel. This is very important to minimize your exposure to stressful situations, and allow the healing.

Find a positive outlet for your emotions, do not bottle up. Let them out in a journal, with some close friends, DS, there are lots youa ccumulated overtime and need to be out of your system, so you can reconnect with your emotions in a healthy way. Crap out in journal is pretty damm good.

No contact is very important to your healing, can't heal with someone poking on the hurt, let go. THe longer you resist the no contact, the longer the healing will take.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

From all us old timers here....

Your welcome!

keep your integrity Intact. Until your divorce is final, you are married. Act like it and be faithful to your partner regardless of their actions...

walk away from your divorce with honour and integrity knowing that you took the High road.

Great advice--anyone else have any ideas?

Take time to read some of the threads in these discussions. Most people here are very intelligent and very funny. Laughter is the best medicine and with so many nuts on DS, you're bound to have a chuckle.