Applying the "NO Contact" rule helps in healing. (Or TRY as little contact as possible if there are children involved. Leave YOUR emotions out of it.) Take your power back!

Yes, definitely DS is a wonderful support group. Make friends on this forum and support other members making you feel like you are being helpful towards others.

I have another

Be kind to yourself

For a minute there I thought this was a continuation of he not getting any thread.

For all you ladies out there... go out and buy yourself a bob( batter operated boyfriend aka vibrator) you are gonna need it..

Men get aquainted with your hands again...

Find out what safe sex is all about and dont settle


If you need to sleep and cant' take gravol..safe for a few days and you can buy without a prescription.

There are two kinds of divorce lawyers out there- mediation type lawyers and litigation type... find out what kind you will need ( trust me on this one)

think with your mind not your heart. As much as you want to blast the stbx just write down don't fight with him/her. Hold your head up high even when your feeling at your lowest point (I know it's hard) and keep a smile on your face. You can break down in private when you have to.

Oh, yeah, the "no contact rule" should be strictly enforced! Personally once I changed my numbers and blocked him from emailing me it did wonders. It gave me a sense of empowerment. Yes, he screwed me over and left, but his feeble attempts at showing concern for the baby just made things harder. I still don't want to hear his voice. I know it will be way too easy to regress back to that sobbing mess that I was! And trust me it's way too easy when you're fragile to find hope in things-- he/she says "how are you today?" and you take that to mean he/she gives a shit more than the casual stranger would. Get over it and take some power back. I promise it will make you feel a hundred times better to cut the ex out of your life than waiting by the phone does!

My tips for survival would include:

* Be kind and patient with yourself. This is a long, dark tunnel but there is light at the end of it.

* Have faith that all things happen for a reason and all is as it should be.

* Surrender to the moment. Allow yourself to feel the pain - it WILL pass, I promise.

* Do not give your power away to the stbx. Refocus on YOU - find you again. Do what you need to do to figure out what you need to be whole again.

* Surround yourself with people that care and will be there for you when you need it. DS, family, friends, counselor, support group - it all helps.

* Take care of you. Eat, sleep, bathe ;)

* Count your blessings. They are there if you only look. Start a gratitude journal - write down 5 things at the end of each day that you can be grateful for. Even on the worst day there are blessings to be counted.

* Take inventory of yourself. A relationship takes two people to make it work and two people to make it fail. I accepted my part in my marriage's failure, my part in his affair - it took me taking a good hard look at myself. Accepting helped me move forward with the true healing and allowed me to let go and move on.

* Hug your children if you have them. Be truly present with them when you have them.

*Cry when you need to. I cried in the shower so my children wouldn't hear me. Or I waited until they went to bed and sat in the corner of my kitchen floor and bawled my eyes out. I don't miss those days - but they happen and they DO pass.

* Above all else Keep Moving Forward. As my good friend once said, you can glance back but don't stare. You can't change the past and you don't know the future. All you have is the present moment so be in it. Have faith that all is as it should be.

When it comes to the ex...think before you act or speak...when you have thought about it and you are ready...think about it again.

This is so good I hope it starts reaching those in need.
Great Job to the folks at DS.

I did it by making a list of things to do.

1) Get some help, someone to talk too (Check)
2) Get my own place again (Check)
3) Get my Son back from the 1st ex (Check)
4) Focus on getting my son back on the right track (Check)
5) Reconnect with old friends I lost over the years (Check)
6) Do things for me, like Vegas trip (Check)
7) Get out of deat (Working on it)
8) Ride my motorcycle more (Waiting for spring, but bike is in the shop getting ready for the season)
9) Reconnect more with my family (Check)
10) Lose weight (Working on it, still 15 to go)

Take the word failure out of your vocabulary

You have no control over anyone but yourself

Take a vitamin everyday because we tend to forget everyday things like eating.

Love yourself and treat yourself like you would your best friend..

Get his/her voice out of your head and replace with yours which is much kinder

Use this time to heal, grow, do things you have always wanted too , but could not.

lastly feel the stages of grief, but don't harden yourself against all men or women.. You may miss an incredible experience waiting just around the bend.
Kimmee

pgamble, what does the PM stand for in your suggestion?

rosel
Was thinking of tylenol PM

PM=Pole Monkey (stripper!) LMAO! Yeah...peeps, don't take MY advice here on DS! Probably not in your best interest! hahaha