YAYAYAY good job. PHEW those urges really suck sometimes, and unfortunately we'll have to take that test ever so often. But with your willpower and commitment you can get through it, oh and with us!!

Congrats :)

103 days pull-free!

THANKS SO MUCH to everyone for your support. It means so much. It helps me keep going, even when it's rough.

Aww, medfly, thanks so much for composing a very witty and clever post to congratulate me even if I couldn't see it! I hate it when those stupid technologies turn their backs on us and rebel. Grrr.

I got a haircut yesterday and the woman went on and on about how much my hair had grown out! she told me she really liked it! Now that I've gotten it trimmed all around, I'm no longer obsessing over the thinner hairs. I've also been very good and leaving that tender spot alone.

So far so good :) I'm already three days into my next goal of being 125 days pull-free.

Thanks again, guys :)

104 days pull-free! This week will kill me. My to-do list is about a mile long. Included are 4 midterms, 2 papers, and other miscellaneous work that needs doing. I am too tired for this.

Bad news. Crazy family stuff going on. STRESSED. Oh my god I want to pull that spot that I'd been fiddling with so badly. Kept tugging during my test just now even though I knew I shouldn't--part of me even felt I deserved that pull--and eventually I just grabbed a bunch of strands and tugged because at least that way I'm not isolating hairs and pulling on them. How am I going to get through this week? GAAHHHHHH!!!

At least I still managed to not pull...

Argh sounds very stressful... You can get through this and you'll be stronger (ha) afterward! College was such a stressful sleepless time... ugh you poor thing. And the family stuff... I'm dealing with a big workload and crazy family stuff too.

I've also done that thing where you grab a big chunk of hair and just pull. Ha. I find it very effective to get a fine tooth comb and just comb my scalp for a while. Helps a lot.

You're doing really really great.

Ow.. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a stressful time.. Take it one urge at a time. Sam is right, when you get through this, you’ll be so much stronger and experienced, cause you will get through this! Hang in there and use as many barriers as you can. Don’t let trich fool you into something you don’t want to do.
You can do this!! You’ve already done amazingly well!!

Sam is right, if you have the power to resist the urge to pull in this stressful moment, it will make you even stronger in the future :)

How you doing? Hope all is well.

Argh, family stress and academic stress are brutal. You are an absolute champion staying pull-free despite it. Over 100 days is FANTASTIC, and you should be ridiculously proud of yourself. Hope all is well!

Thanks for your words of encouragement and for checking in on me, everyone!! I really appreciate it. My laptop charger got fried somehow and was shooting up blue sparks. I got a new one but still couldn't get my laptop to work, and now I've laid it aside in the hopes that it will magically cure itself in a few weeks and be fully-functioning once more. Anyway, it's made it really difficult for me to come on DailyStrength and post often. Here are some important catch-ups:

I was doing well for a while. I didn't pull. I grew my hair out. I reached 104 days pull-free Monday morning. But that night, disaster struck. I was so tired, exhausted, fed up, stressed, depressed and upset that I didn't have anything left in me to fight off all the urges. That spot on my left side had been sore, tender and annoying for several days as I had posted, and I had been tugging on it a bit. I knew what would happen--I know how it would go: I would tug, a few strands would inadvertently slide out eventually in a sickeningly enjoyable way whether I meant to or not. AND THAT WOULD BE ALL IT TOOK TO FALL RIGHT BACK. I knew all this, but it made no difference for me that night. The tug eventually led to a few hairs being pulled out, even if I hadn't been trying to pull them. And it just felt so good, so sickeningly right--as if it's what I had been missing this whole time. I told myself, "I deserve this. I've been going through such tough times. I've been so good so far. Just a few hairs don't count." And then the hideous cycle began again. I felt that I had ended up exactly where I had been before. I managed to do some damage--not enough for it to be noticeable or to create an actual bald spot, but enough damage. Accompanied with that were feelings of helplessness, guilt, shame, horror and the sense of lack of control that frightens me to death. I sulked and floundered in my misery for a day and a half, wishing someone would save me, trying vainly to stop, hoping for some sort of miracle that would help me snap out of it and go back to being pull-free. I considered giving up.

But I was too strong. I had always seen my trich as a set of dominoes--the moment that first hair fell, it brought on an unstoppable storm that caused all the others to fall, a wild fire in a dry forest that couldn't be contained--that once I started, I wouldn't be able to stop. but I realized that this was wrong. I'm strong and I have control over my life. It's not how often you fall down that matters--but how often you pick yourself up. After all, I've come such a long way from where I've started. And along the way, I've picked up some useful tricks and knowledge that I can still put into use.

With all of this in mind, I started over, with no despair or sense of hopelessness holding me back. I started day one again on February 29 with hope, confidence, a strong sense of self and the belief that I CAN DO IT. I've been pull-free since.

In a way, it's actually made me feel better. I was so worried about what would happen when I relapsed--I worried about whether I would be able to pick myself back up or just let it all fall apart again and undo all the work I had done. I was so dreading and fearing a relapse that I couldn't really enjoy the accumulation of my pull-free days because in my head, that meant I was that much closer to a relapse. Well, it happened--and I managed to get right back on track after only a day and a half with little damage. That's NEVER happened before, and to me, that's more of an accomplishment than the 104 pull-free days I had before. Now I know that I AM getting better, that I AM fighting trich, that it's working. Not just a streak of luck that had held me suspended over doom.

Feeling pretty awesome :) By the end of today, I will have been six days pull-free. Going strong :)

Hurrah for you! You can do this! You can do this, you can do this! It's wonderful to pick yourself up, and keep on going! Stay strong, we're with you!

Thanks, that means a lot :) I love the support I get from people on this site.

7 days pull-free :) 8 by the end of today. How do people normally count their pull-frees? Do they wait until the next day or count it at midnight or start the first day as being day 1 even if you haven't gone that whole day being pull-free? Just wondering.

Depends on what works for you. I have counted from the night before, to give me eight hours (or so) pull-free when it was difficult to make it past two hours on a single day. What matters is seeing the result of the attempt to keep pull-free. The more aware we are, the harder it is for trich to trick us into pulling.
You can do this!
Hurrah!

Thanks, mideyebrow :)

8 days pull-free!

9 days pull-free!