Beating Trich Community Group

You mean that there is a name for IT? Im not weird? Trichotillomania, that big, long word that is the bane of our world. With knowledge and support of others we CAN break free and live without this disorder interfering with our lives. Lets keep this uplifting and supportive and give each other the encouragement the other needs to make it to that next day.

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strongerbk8 01/26/2012

Hi guys! I joined this group in the hopes that your encouragement and support will help me conquer my battle with trich :) I've been pulling my hair out for 5-6 years. I used to have thick, long, healthy hair. People used to touch it and envy me for how it would shine. After a year or two of trich, though, I managed to destroy all of it. I wasn't one of those people who would just pull 10 hairs a day or something; when I got started, I could go on forever. Trich has been a major roller coaster ride for me. During the bad times, I had big bald spots in my hair that I couldn't hide; I had my hair shaved off three times; I wore wigs. I also went through two phases when I just could not stop cutting my hair. Pulling made me depressed and stressed; that negative emotional state of course only induced me to pull even more. The good times, during which I had my trich under control, generally only lasted 2 months or so. Currently, I have short, full hair with short bangs. Short short short. I worry that I look unattractive, unfeminine, etc. (I'm convinced I look like a sea urchin when I step out of the shower, even though my friends tell me that's just my imagination), but I'm happy to just have hair again! I haven't pulled since November 15--that's 72 days. During that period of time, my hair has grown a lot. I can feel the urges starting to crop back up on me again, though, so I'm making a thread here to stay firm with my commitment to be pull-free!

confidenticandoit 04/11/2012

YAY!!!!!! That's super exciting. You can do this!!!!

:)

strongerbk8 04/12/2012

So stressed. Trying so hard but it doesn't seem to be enough.

AARRRGHHHH.

confidenticandoit 04/12/2012

I know what you mean.

Can I have an AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!?

strongerbk8 04/12/2012

Well, I ended up pulling last night. I was fiddling these strands of hair that were unequal to the rest in length and thinking about how I wanted to cut them as soon as I got home, when one of them actually came out because of my tugging. And of course, that led me to pull some more--but I did not exceed 10 hairs, I believe. I went home, trimmed the area and didn't pull any more.

Feel like a failure. I don't really like to write about anything on here other than my trich, but right now I'm struggling with depression and feelings of inadequacy so I guess I am turning to my support system on DailyStrength. Can't seem to be doing anything right. Just wish people would leave me alone, and that this giant mound of to-do things would vanish, and that I could get my trich back under control.

Oh well...Today's a new day. This morning will be rough, as I have to finish up a paper and that'll sorely tempt me to mess with my hair as I write.

strongerbk8 04/12/2012

AAAARRRGGGGH trying really hard not to pull. I wish this stupid paper would go write itself. My brain cells are holding a strike--demanding less hours and more pay--so I've got nothing for this paper. MEHR

strongerbk8 04/12/2012

FAIIILLLLLL. Fail fail fail FAIILLLL. Just pulled a bunch of hairs. In fact, pulling as I write this! I really just need to take a day off where I sit, figure shit out, sort myself out, and get back on top of stuff because this is pathetic.

Ok. Restarting. Goal is making it through from 10:30am to 11:30am, pull-free.

strongerbk8 04/12/2012

Well! That miserably failed. Ok, I just need to step back and breathe, be calm. I can do this. I just need to not let myself get into a puller's trance. I need to stay aware and committed. I can do this. Breathe.

deleted_user 04/12/2012

it isn't pathetic! i know its so hard. i get upset too. You can do this. try some barriers like deep breaths and TAPE!!
hugs

strongerbk8 04/12/2012

Thanks, alexandrite. Finished my paper at 1:30ish and haven't pulled since then. Soooo around 2 hours pull-free. Not much, but now that I have managed to get a grip on myself and stop for at least that long, staying pull-free for the rest of the day should be easier. And to think that once I was in the 100s with my pull-free days.

I've undone all my good work. Bald spots everywhere that can't be seen from the surface but they're there. Hate myself.

deleted_user 04/12/2012

yippee to 2 hours pull free. a step closer to success!!

Don't beat yourself up over it.... it's a good thing you can't see the bald spots. :)

confidenticandoit 04/13/2012

Definitely! A great thing :) congrats on your pf time. If you can manage to pull yourself out of your trance I find a walk, or better yet a shower really helps. Keeping my hair wet at home is something I do. Even changing rooms helps. Keep trying, you're doing this.

Phoebe13 04/13/2012

Oh, the puller's trance!! Awareness!! Commitment!! Don't hate yourself, dear girl. Think about what you have accomplished. One day, one hour at a time. It is so hard to stay pf when doing a paper. You can do it. I didn't have this site when I was doing papers. I didn't even know there were others like me. Just think of the advantage you have. We are with you. xoxo

strongerbk8 04/15/2012

Thank you guys. That's true--it's important for me to realize that I have definitely been making progress, and that I have the support of all you lovely ladies. I've been pull-free since 1:30pm on April 12, so that's great! Yayyy. Also, more joyous news--one of my bald spots that I had created the last time I had a relapse has started sprouting all these hairs and now that area feels like sandpaper. It feels like most of the hairs have grown back. Thank goodness my scalp is so resilient. It's always nice to get a reminder that, even when you mess up, you have another chance. The hairs will grow back. (For now, at least, while I'm young...)

strongerbk8 04/15/2012

Gah. Trying to write another 10page paper without the slightest clue on what it is that I should be writing about. Hands keep reaching up to hair...very bad. Trying to play with spinner ring, instead...

Phoebe13 04/15/2012

Sit on those hands, if you have to. I find it really helps. You can get through that paper pull-free.

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