Beating Trich Community Group
You mean that there is a name for IT? Im not weird? Trichotillomania, that big, long word that is the bane of our world. With knowledge and support of others we CAN break free and live without this disorder interfering with our lives. Lets keep this uplifting and supportive and give each other the encouragement the other needs to make it to that next day.
Hi guys! I joined this group in the hopes that your encouragement and support will help me conquer my battle with trich :) I've been pulling my hair out for 5-6 years. I used to have thick, long, healthy hair. People used to touch it and envy me for how it would shine. After a year or two of trich, though, I managed to destroy all of it. I wasn't one of those people who would just pull 10 hairs a day or something; when I got started, I could go on forever. Trich has been a major roller coaster ride for me. During the bad times, I had big bald spots in my hair that I couldn't hide; I had my hair shaved off three times; I wore wigs. I also went through two phases when I just could not stop cutting my hair. Pulling made me depressed and stressed; that negative emotional state of course only induced me to pull even more. The good times, during which I had my trich under control, generally only lasted 2 months or so. Currently, I have short, full hair with short bangs. Short short short. I worry that I look unattractive, unfeminine, etc. (I'm convinced I look like a sea urchin when I step out of the shower, even though my friends tell me that's just my imagination), but I'm happy to just have hair again! I haven't pulled since November 15--that's 72 days. During that period of time, my hair has grown a lot. I can feel the urges starting to crop back up on me again, though, so I'm making a thread here to stay firm with my commitment to be pull-free!
Day 29 today! So much stress all around. I'm just trying to float through it all
You are doing AMAZINGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stress..... ahhhhhhh. Yeah I'm familiar. You're doing great.
Thanks for the praise but unfortunately, I don't deserve it. I've been struggling with depression and it got pretty bad last couple of weeks. Eventually, I just started pulling for the hell of it. I was feeling so dumb and apathetically sad that I wanted to feel SOMETHING, even if it was painful and self-destructive. It was almost like an excuse for my depression because honestly, I don't really know why it came about. It made me feel like I had a legitimate reason to be depressed. Basically, it wasn't any urges that set me off but rather my desire to not feel so hollow and void--if that makes any sense.
And so once I started, the urges DID completely take over and I lost all control. I pulled and pulled and I almost didn't even care that I was pulling. My mind was just blank throughout the process. Depression is scary. Anyways, I ended up pulling a big bald spot on the left side of my head--the first real bald spot I've had in months--and it's the size of a quarter, or maybe a silver dollar? It doesn't show through on the surface but when I lift up the hair covering it, it's pretty gruesome. So far I've dealt with it just by pinning my hair in such a way that the top layer won't move around when it's windy or something, but it's sad to have to worry about this again. The good news is, after several days of pulling, I managed to regain control and talk myself out of it. So day 1 was yesterday and I'm continuing good work.
That's been my life so far. 104 days, then thirty something days, then back to day 2. It's okay, though--just glad I didn't do any more damage
Arghhh yeah I'm doing it very tough also, and it's been resulting in pulling too. I have also pulled a bald spot. It's not too awful, and doesn't show unless I scrape my hair back. But still.. If I don't get control soon it will get ugly.
CONGRATS on one day pull free! Woo! I am determined to get a pull free day soon. I have to be strict.
xoxo
I'm doing really badly. Yesterday, I was just spewing in my misery and depression and I was unable to talk myself out of it. Ended up pulling a lot from the back and I couldn't gain control over it. There is a small bald spot there now--not nearly as big as the one on the side of my head, but a spot nonetheless. I'm disappointed in myself and I've been beating myself up pretty heavily for this.
Oh well. I just have to get up and try again, I suppose. I haven't pulled yet so far today, but the urges are KILLING me and my fingers keep crawling into my scalp as I study for my test, which makes it so, so much worse. I want to pull so badly. GAAHHHHH.
I really hope I make it through today.
10 hours done, 14 hours to go...
Acccckkkkk I know what you meeeeeeeannnnnnnnnnnnn GRRRRRRRRRRR! 10 hrs is still better than what I can do though! Congrats on that achievement, it's great. Inspiration to me.
Have you thought about seeing a psychologist?
Don't beat yourself up over it. Just try and try again. Baby steps!! So crucial in overcoming this!
Thank you for saying the urges are killing you. THEY ARE KILLING ME! I was just about to pull one but your post stopped me.
You can do this!!
HUGS
FAILED MASSIVELY, HUGELY, FANTASTICALLY IN AN EXPLODING HEAP OF CRAP.
Pulled SO MUCH today after those 10 something hours.
AARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHAT TO DO
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FEEL LIKE CRAP. UNDID ALL MY HARD WORK SO FAR.
CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP.
MASSIVE CRAP.
Frantic flip-out session over and out.
I do see a therapist. I think she's not technically a psychologist? It's helping some, but not much...
I'm glad we can keep each other going throughout all of this. I love that we can be sources of inspiration to one another. I'm having a really hard time today, though. This really sucks.
FAILLLL. FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL
AND I'M WITH YOU! We CAN be pull free today we can we can we can we can we can!
GRR.
And I have good news--I DID IT, yesterday was my first day pull-free!
TODAY WILL BE MY SECOND. TODAY WILL BE MY SECOND. TODAY WILL BE MY SECOND.
WE CAN DO IT, everyone!!!! WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN