So I counted and I think I've been pull-free for around a month now! Isn't that crazy?!??? How time flies!! I MUST get myself a reward soon.

And yeah, I'm nonconfrontational and the thing is, none of the stuff that they do actively bothers me EXCEPT when they bitch at me to make me feel bad. I don't even care what they do, really, as long as they leave me alone. And because I've been putting up with it all and being nice to them, they were actually thinking they could treat me like shit because I was too much of a pushover to stand up to them. So then that's why I felt the need to say something. You know, like what they say about standing up to bullies or something! Haha. But I only said something politely when they did/said something bitchy again. And I hated having to do that, too, because I just didn't understand why we couldn't all be civil and nice to each other and leave each other in peace.

Oh well. I'll be out of here soon, and they've been less bitchy, too.

Also, LOVEEE pity party idea :D You guys are awesome.

Ack, but glad it's a little better.

Hehe we can pity party on DOWN!!!

One month, holy moly!!!! For sure a reward is in order.

Still pull-free :) Yayyyy.

I'm glad you said something!!! :) About your comment where you dont understand why people cant just be civil... i understand that too!! Sometimes, people are a disappointment!! I just found out a "good friend" at work has been talking about me behind my back saying I always ditch her when we make a date (which isn't true because my friend was visiting. It's not like I just bailed on her. ) and then she kept complaining how i'm the boss' favorite...... i was disappointed in her. Why cant people just be nice to everyone . Work is just work afterall....

ONE MONTH!! THAT IS AMAZING!! i am so proud of you. WHAT WILL YOU GET?? TEEHEHEHE i wish i could go shopping with u too!!! :D

HUGS

I WISH I COULD GO SHOPPING WITH YOU! That sounds like so much fun!!!!!!!!

Gah, haven't been able to think of a good enough reward yet. I have so much trouble getting myself things :/

My friend is "bullying" me into going clubbing with her tonight. I've gone to some famous, well-known pubs in London, but not to any clubs, so apparently that doesn't "count." I'm actually not looking forward to it that much. I'm not very self-confident and I'm pretty self-conscious. Bad combinations for going out. The only way I'll be able to enjoy it at all is if I have at least several shots before leaving to loosen up. But I don't much fancy going to the clubs just to flirt with guys and grind with them and all that. And if I don't join in on the above, then I'll feel just as awkward and dumb, sitting by myself in a corner, questioning why I'm there the whole time. And I don't enjoy getting attention from guys, either, but at the same time, if I don't get any while the other girls get hit on, I'll probably feel bad, too. So it's just all around GAH. Whatever, I'll just take some shots and just go. After all, if I AM in london, I probably should go to at least one club here.

I just want to go and have fun and not worry about my appearance.

Still pull-free, guys :)

Congrats on staying pull free despite the stress in your life !! Way to go ! What helps you to stay pull free ?

Sweetie, you should go and have fun!! I think you would have gone by the time I reply you. It's dark in there...and no one can see you . :) So go have fun and there are SOOO many people there . Unless you're dancing on a table naked, i'm sure people wont be all looking. :)
I don't enjoy getting attention from guys in clubs either. EW its so dark. don't tell me im beautiful. How would you know?
Sweetie, you're thinking wayyyy too much about it!! Go! down some shots!! have a blast :) and if u dont like it, sneak out hehehehe. Thats what I would do.

CONGRATS ON BEING PULL FREE!!

Haha I took five shots and then headed out with the group. By the time I was in the cold air, though, I had all but sobered up (I have a weirdly high alcohol tolerance for how little I party in general), and so I was like "Damn. I needed to have drunk more." And it was kind of awkward when the night first started--just our group awkwardly dancing with ourselves and me kind of despising myself for being there and feeling so unattractive, with my stupid short hair haha, But by the end of the night, half a dozen guys had asked me to dance with them and I did with some, which was more fun. So I guess it was a successful night, although I came back feeling kind of gloomy and cynical. Meh. Not gonna think about it any more.

Still pull-free :) Thanks, Alex. Lots of love.

5!!! The older i get, the less shots i can do now haha. amazing how high your alcohol tolerance is. Ur right. I'm a light weight myself hahahaha.
You see, you had fun, it was a succesful night and boys think you're a hottie!! NOT that we need boys to give us validation that we are hot. I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!! beautiful inside and out but it is nice to get attention now and again.
and how dare u call your short hair stupid?? NO NO NO NO NO!! :P
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

YAY TO BEING PULL FREE!!

HUGSSSS

Hehehe, I have a high tolerance too. But that's cos I drink a lot. I LOVE going to clubs but I HATE dancing with guys at clubs. I only like dancing with my friends. Even when I was single I hated getting hit on by guys in clubs. Ew. But that's me.

Still pull free.. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel self conscious at clubs too, cos everyone is so DOES judge you.

Haha you would have laughed to see me dancing with the guys, Sam. There wasn't any grinding or anything like that at all, because that would have made me uncomfortable, so it was just a lot of facing each other awkwardly and fumbling about with a sizeable distance between us or being twirled around a lot. Although, there was one fantastically attractive guy who was a brilliant dancer and he made it fun. The whole thing was just pretty silly, the more I think about it haha. I wasn't expecting to come back from it feeling unattractive and kind of depressed and bitter. I could spend more time articulating exactly what I mean and explain myself and all, but I just want to not waste more time on it.

Still pull-free. I think the fact that I'm either always wearing a wig or a bandanna is helping a lot, but I know it's not just that, either, because if I had wanted to pull, I would have found a way to do it. And I would have done it, people around or no. So I will give myself some credit for it :) Wish I had more hair growth, though. I want long hair so badly that it hurts. I haven't had long hair since like, 8th grade, and I just so want unboyish hair that I can flaunt and feel proud of. I just want to feel feminine again. While I'm glad to have short hair because at least I HAVE hair, I always find myself criticizing my appearance, thinking my face is too fat to pull off short hair, thinking I can't wear dresses because I look awkward with the short hair, thinking I'm not attractive because of short hair, feeling self-conscious, etc. etc. I'd just love to not give it any more thought, ever.

But still, I am very grateful for my hair, as uneven as the lengths are and as short as it is. Hooray for still pull-free!

Ooh, I forgot to respond to Alex's post.

Alex, you're so awesome. I wish I knew you in person and that we were awesome friends.

"and how dare u call your short hair stupid?? NO NO NO NO NO!! :P
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!"

This cracked me up so much. Laughed for a good while and it really helped. Thanks so much for your support and encouragement. You and Sam both. What would I do without you amazing girls?!?

Way to go StrongerBK !! Good for you, going out with the girls !! We are our own worst enemy, and I am sure you looked great. Glad you got some dances in.
CONGRATS on being pull free for so long !! I can not wait to be able to say the same - lately I keep starting all over again counting pull free days, but today is going good.

hahaha I laughed when i read your post. I don't grind either. With a stranger? ain't happening. I don't know you. HAHA.

I remember when I wore a wig. I pulled less but i thought it was because i had a barrier. It is GREAT you are wearing the wig/bandanna AND coming here. Not only do you have barriers but you are aware. thank god for DS.

MUAH HUGS!!
stay strong missy