Just got back from the yoga class, feeling really floppy! And kinda doped up! Weird. It was ashtanga yoga, fairly intense. I liked it a lot. Will wear more stretchy pants next time. Just before the class my boyfriend called me to say he's actually worried he might fail this semester (his final semester) of uni. He has 3 weeks to go. He thinks this because he is currently undertaking prac, and is working at a primary school. The teacher for some reason has decided to dislike him, and instead of correcting him when he does something which is not according to her plan, she decides to call a meeting on him. Now you have to understand that my boyfriend is so gorgeous, so caring, SO intelligent, so personable. He would not neglect his duties, or be lazy about this prac. It's all a miscommunication, and this teacher is making a big deal out of things which should not be a big deal. It's so UNFAIR, that him graduating uni is dependent upon this one, small minded woman. I am LIVID. He has a meeting with the teacher and his uni supervisor (which his evil teacher called) to discuss his progress. I simply can't believe that he could fail, he is so close, and all because his teacher would rather call a meeting and issue warnings than discuss with him that she would prefer him to give the students colouring sheets rather than maths sheets (yes, this was one of the issues) he just might.

So I got this call just before I stepped into yoga and was crying and it was pathetic and I was so embarrassed. After about half an hour I calmed down though and relaxed into it.

ACK! I really really hope all goes well with his meeting tomorrow, he needs to pass, we need him to pass, so we can move on with our lives. AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I'm so worried, and I feel so helpless. There is absolutely nothing I can do, and I hate that feeling.

Ok sorry to dump this all on you... thanks for reading.

xoxo

Mrs Kolo I can't believe it actually makes you taller!!!!!! I literally don't believe you haha. I should try it cos I'm short!

Urges were not great today, been so good these past few weeks, and i was thinking some bad thoughts today. I'm not as safe as I thought I was... Going back to my one day goals, and NO touching of my hair. HANDS DOWN indeed :)

Oooh Sam I remeber the horridness and stress of traing to be a teacher - its the same in the UK that you have a mentor in your placements who can pass/fail you. I had a HORRID mentor in my 2nd placement (final) she said I was the worst trainee she had ever had, used to say how crap my lessons, were told me I didn't look like a teacher etc. URGH nasty woman. And I certainly wasn't alone on my course on having a nasty mentor.

Its good that your b/f has a supportive uni tutor. my recommendatio os for him to document the meetings, agree manageable targets for his practise (and dates when he will meet them), jump through all the stupid hoops and be deferential and polite to the teacher - don't give tem any ammunitiion. Just keep his head down and do everything he can, Its horrible - I hated it. but it will be over soon and I'll keep my fingers crossed for him.

I am (was in my job anyway) a mentor for trainees and always remember how horrible it feels if you arent supported - i am nice :)

Thank you so much - yep great advice, that was our plan too. I'm hoping so much that it will be fine..

I remember how much I hated being trained by an awful supervisor too, so I will always be nice when I'm training someone too.

Oh man, thinking of you and your bf. Hopefully goodness will prevail!!

Yes, about lash or brow pulling, like all pulling, it's overrated. A monster in disguise and the last thing you need. to be perfectly honest, the roots are significantly less satisfying compared to scalp pulling - so its even more NOT worth it.

How much do u and your bf talk about your trich? Sounds like he would be wonderfully supportive.

Thanks Kauxfire! We talk about it a fair bit. I told him about it maybe 6 months into our relationship when we were on a holiday to the coast. He shared with me that he was bulemic. So our relationship deepened a tonne after that. We didn't really discuss it much after that, as I was still ah.... rejecting trich? I don't know how to describe it. I admitted I had it, I wanted to stop, I believed I could "stop" one day. I could control it up to a point, eg, transfer my pulling to different areas. I could always pretty much hide the damage with a headband and bun (pretttttty much, I think a lot of days I looked a lot worse than I thought). I didn't bring it up with him, so he didn't bring it up with me. Then last may before we went on a holiday to Fiji together, I told him I had "stopped" HA!!! Like al those other times I thought I'd just magically stopped. Except I was really trying, I wrote down all the hairs I pulled in a little book. Well this lasted maybe a few weeks with a few hairs pulled in this time. Then last December I joined DS, found out the concept of a "pull-free-a-thon" (WOW... never occurred to me before) and that pull free meant PULL FREEEEE, and I started my pull-free-a-thon. I told my bf about it and he has supported me every step of the way since. He's so happy for me, and proud. In the beginning I would excitedly tell him about every pf day, now it's more like every month. He wants to see me with my hair down but I freak out about it! Maybe after I've had a haircut, it's such an effing mess. Oh by the way I've taken pics but just gotta find the cable that connects my camera to my laptop... I think it's at bf's house.

Ok you asked a simple question and I gave you a massive story, oops sorry!!

By the way, my body KILLS after yoga. Oh my gosh!!! Is that normal? Probably, considering I haven't exercised in months and haven't stretched in a YEAR!

Hm so 167 days pf. I will stay strong today and not single out hairs, I will not straighten hairs. I will not tempt the urge to pull because at the moment it's rather strong.

Just a few notes on my "story":
- bf and I have been together 3 years
- and after I had "stopped" in May last year, my pulling got a whoooole lot worse before I decided to stop in December. Yucky yuck yuck, I wasn't even looking in the mirror at ALL, except for when my hair was fully styled, I'd quickly brush some mascara into sketchy spots and pull on a headband. Ugh.

Oh aaaaaaaaand also, he is no longer bulemic, though he still does struggle with it occasionally (eg will want to indulge in the behavior, but does not).

Ooh, I shudder to think of what I looked like before getting a wig - me thinks it was probably pretty bad.

So glad to hear that you can be honest with him and that he supports you. I bet the fact that he also is tempted by unhealthy impulses makes him more understanding as well.

Its funny that I don't even remember telling my husband about it. It was just always there and he knew. Thank god, he's an awesome man and has this curious, unrelenting acceptance of me!

Yes, do not pull today, do not touch today. You are strong enough and your goals are worth the effort!

sounds like you and your boyfriend are very solid. there are always "things" about ourselves....part of love is accepting that we are all a work in proggress!!

I am also trying to work on no hands today - ick... its hard...

so happy for you that he's so understanding and supportive- honestly, that really tells a lot about him.
its funny, i dont remember telling my mom either- i feel like she probably just confronted me about it (horrible at the time, but good in the long run)
anyways- stick with the hands down goal! so proud of you for putting in 150%!

Having the urge to pull just eyebrow and now it's only on the right side (so it really looks odd), and when I have the urge to pull my hair out at the scalp, I use all the techniques to keep from acting on the urge.
Way to go with your boyfriend!
Hands down, stay strong, you can do this!

Stressful time, Sam - this is definitely a challenge. I know you will rise to it.

I wish all the best for your boyfriend. There are always going to be toxic people to trop us up. We just have to figure out how to move past them the best we can.

Yoga's great. I wish I could do more, but my knees are so messed up. I do think Pilates can make you taller - just as we shrink as we get older. I was 5'-9" in my 20's and now I'm closer to 5'-8.25". I wouldn't mind regaining a half inch or so. I choose my exercise by what I can tolerate... swimming & cycling work for me, with a little bit of yoga. I've also started a routine of getting up early & walking 12 blocks around the neighbourhood before I start my day. That is awesome. Anything with the words "Boot Camp" in the description has me heading for cover.

Phoebe do try gentle pilates - I have a dodgy knee so can't do high impact exercise I do this routine regularly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdMptxZv4hQ

Hope u are doin OK Sam, its prob the middle of the night for you now! xx

Kauxfire - So glad your husband has unrelenting acceptance of you :) Yes I do think my bf having unhealthy urges himself occasionally helps him understand my own urges. Yes my goals ARE worth the effort, thank you!

Mrs Kolo - Yes I like to think we're very solid. He is definitely the more accepting one out of us both, the things that I'm critical of in him are health related, I want him to live longer! Still, I'm working on being more accepting, I'm getting there! Hands down is hard, I've found my hair in my hands two times this morning and I've been up for 40 mins. Both times I was stressing a bit. And yes I'm doing ok! Hehe it's morning, I'm in bed, feeling veeeery lazy. Working at 4:30 this afternoon and I DON'T WANNA!!!

Firante - Again, I'm so happy to hear you can talk to your mum about this. I never could :( It confuses me cos my parents were so perfect in every other way.

Mid - Yep, gotta pull out all of our techniques, that's what they're there for. Out mental and physical "toolbelt".

Phoebe - Ugh yes, I know there will always be toxic people in life, just gotta deal with them the best way we can. I think all's ok at the moment, he had a meeting yesterday, and he's still on a contract but they said that he's doing better. Oh eff off you stupid teacher lady. I've seen how much work he puts into each and every lesson, he's a better teacher than her probably.

I can tell that my knees are going to be bad later in life, ugh. I might just try Pilates, it seems really boring though? I love swimming and cycling, I'm glad they are low impact sports. I can't believe you walk 12 blocks, that is such a long way!!

168 days pf, that is the third time today my hand has risen up and straightened a few hairs. I was stressing again, simply about thinking about how many days I'd been pf, I couldn't remember. LOLZ.

Oh and my bf was in a car crash this morning but he's ok. Some woman t-boned him, her car is ruined, his is fine. Not wasting any stress on wondering 'what if'. Still, ugh.