chargergirl's Posts | DailyStrength

Status: “We are not defined by our mistakes, but how we react to them and the life journey we create despite of them”

Mood: Horrible

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Day 5 BACK TO WORK

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Well I have never been so happy to go to work. Kept me busy and my mind occupied from all the turmoil I created because of my gambling. I still feel very anxious and feel like hyperventilating but at least the episodes were not as frequent today. I...
Day 4 NEW YEAR

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Happy New Years! Well I made into the new year GF. It wasn’t the best birthday yesterday after having my son bail me out. I still have no cell service but at least we have a roof over our head. I worked from home yesterday and when I was done I...
Day 3 THE AFTERMATH

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Day 3 and I remember this sickening feeling too well. The aftermath of having to deal with my actions. The anxiety is so bad I feel like my heart will explode. I already asked my son for the bailout money. That is the most humiliating thing I had to...
Day 2 ANXIETY

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Today I am full of anxiety. My heart is racing and I am shaking inside. I know it is nerves knowing I have to deal with the aftermath of my actions. I wrote in my journal to help ease my anxiety and it helped. Not much to say except “God grant me...
Day 1 AGAIN

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Well I am back my old friends. It’s been a long time. Sad to say the last six months have been downward spiral to hell again. I lied to myself that after so much time GF I could gamble again socially. But that definitely was not the case. Last...
I Survived Payday

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"Payday" is just another day to most people but to a gambler is like a high. During the week I became anxious, my heart was beating fast, my blood pressure was high and I could not focus. I thought about gambling and even had a dream I won big. But...
Rock Bottom

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Right at this very moment I know I am at my rock bottom. Went on a 24 hour gambling binge yesterday and got home broke, defeated, emotionally drained, ashamed and every other adjective you can use to define a gambler. For the first time in a year I...
"We are not defined by our mistakes..."

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"We are not defined by our mistakes, but how we react to them and the life journey we create despite of them!" I kept this quote on my status since I became a member in 2014. It has a powerful meaning to me as a compulsive gambler. The last year...
I'm Back

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It has been a long time my DS friends. I wish I could say all is well but it is not. Too much pain right now to say much. Just glad I am back with friends who understand the every day struggles of this gambling addiction. xoxo chargergirl
Feels good to be back...

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I know it has been a long time since I lasted posted. My last bet was on July 19, 2014. I am happy to say I have been gamble free for almost 6 weeks. It has been hard and a difficult struggle. But something really snapped and became very clear...
When is Enough Enough???

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Isn't that the million dollar question. When is Enough Enough? Since joining DS two months ago I have so many relapses. I have taken two steps forward and four steps backwards each and every week. I have set up boundaries. I have set up minimal...
Living With The Consequences

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It seems like everyday I come across someone or some financial matter that has been affected by my gambling. I know the guilt that each of us feels for all the money lost and the hurt we have caused our loved ones. Our stories are all the same. I...
No Longer on the Ledge

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Last Wednesday I fell off the ledge but today I feel stronger. Maybe it is because I lost money that was suppose to be used for my son's graduation party last Saturday which made me feel so guilty. Luckily I have a great boss that allowed me to...
Feeling HORRIBLE - Back to Day 1

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Well the urge to gamble got the better of me. I feel so horrible today. Mainly because I want sobriety so bad that each relapse takes me further into depression. I am an emotional compulsive gambler. I have been so stressed emotionally that the...
DAy 11... Thank You Friends

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I am so happy that I have made it to Day 11. My last bet was 12 days ago. I was so hopeless on that Sunday driving home from the casino flat broke with barely enough gas to get to work the next day. I was tired of being broke after each payday so...