Right at this very moment I know I am at my rock bottom. Went on a 24 hour gambling binge yesterday and got home broke, defeated, emotionally drained, ashamed and every other adjective you can use to define a gambler. For the first time in a year I am unable to pay my rent. I went as soon as I got home to see the leasing manager and begged her to allow me to pay the rent with my next paycheck. She hasn't confirmed so I am sitting here just disgusted with myself. How did I let it get this bad? I am a smart and educated woman with an wonderful job. I never let my gambling affect my work yet today I did the unthinkable... I called in sick to gamble. I am so sick and nauseated right now. My life is a mess right now. And the worst part about this is that my family does not know, my friends do not know and my children do not know. It is a secret addiction and leads me to live two separate lives. I suffer from depression and anxiety in addition to compulsive gambling. I really need support from someone who knows what I am going through right now. I will be calling in tonight and if I can stop crying maybe I will speak. I am so tired of being tired. xoxo Chargergirl
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