Labor pains

Day 80, without placing a bet, or running to the casino, or waking up after being gone for days, emotionally and financially broken.   Compulsive gambler, if anyone had told me, how hard this was going to be, I wouldn't have believed them, nobody can really prepare you for the journey, its kind of like when I had my daughter. If anyone told me that I would be in labor for 22 hours, and the pain would be almost unbearable, not sure I would have wanted to have a baby.  Kind of a strange comparison.  
But, I see it this way.  My daughter, is the best thing in my life, my heart, my soul, my love. She was worth the labor.  My recovery, is so important to me, and thus far, is so worth the labor, the contractions are getting better, but I still have them, I compare contractions to urges, and unless you have had a child, you can't really relate.  But, its true, I have to breath through the process, and ultimately, one day at a time, I am giving birth to a new me.
Today, I am not in a casino, wondering around, lifeless, broken and in fear.  Today, I am not waking up crying or in denial, I am aware, I am alert, I am grateful.  I am grateful that today, I am in recovery, one contraction at a time.
Breath my warriors.
xoxox