After relapse.
I am pulling myself together, I feel as though I am walking in a fog, of sorts. When I left Saturday, I just left, and I didn't look back, there was no reaching out to GA friends, or family members like I have done in the past, I just left, my head told me, it was ok. Its odd to me, because I thought I had this beat, or at least I thought I had the tools to safeguard myself from this happening again.
Relapse, is painful, I think it hurts more now than when I first decided to try and stop gambling. My family will not speak with me, my mom has disowned me, my brother called me a junkie, the text messages of pure anger keep pouring in.
For me, my recovery started again on Sunday, but my heart and my head are still hurting and going through a fog of function.
I was trying to think last night, where I went, and when, while in my altered state, and to be honest, its a blur.
As days go by, I will be able to tell you more, for now, I'm trying to make it through.
Terri
Relapse, is painful, I think it hurts more now than when I first decided to try and stop gambling. My family will not speak with me, my mom has disowned me, my brother called me a junkie, the text messages of pure anger keep pouring in.
For me, my recovery started again on Sunday, but my heart and my head are still hurting and going through a fog of function.
I was trying to think last night, where I went, and when, while in my altered state, and to be honest, its a blur.
As days go by, I will be able to tell you more, for now, I'm trying to make it through.
Terri
Replies
Wishing you some peace. I am new to quitting but thought I had quit a couple of months ago. I was furious with myself for the loss of control this weekend. I am just beginning to understand how treacherous this can be. Let\'s brush ourselves off and go forth! ((( )))
I\"m sorry you\'re feeling the \'disappointment\' from family members. I wish they knew: it does not help. only makes us feel worse.
but you have some great tools inside of you, lots of clean days to build on, and I know you will again. after my relapse, I licked my wounds for a couple of days, then came back and confessed.
Don\'t beat yourself up Terri. You are a Warrior! I know you can do this. You just need to take a look at how this happened at set up another safety net or road blocks. I had many slips in the past and it was because I did not have good road blocks in place. Did you close all your casino accounts? Stop all casino mailings, guard your money ? Tell someone close to you that you really trust about your addiction for support when you need it? I know you will be fine because you have worked so hard. Don\'t give up and don\'t give in! This was a slip NOT a relapse. Your recovery time is not lost. We all need to find ways to prevent slips from happening. It takes trial and error until you fill all the holes in your recovery plan. The addicted brain is so tricky. NEVER give up! Please! You are worth it! Don\'t let anyone tell you otherwise! HUGS!!! XXXXOOOOO!!!!! Cher
Terri. I am so so sorry I have not been here for you. You are a strong and courageous women. You have given me strength during my difficult times and I am here for you. I know this post comes a little late and I hope you are in a better place now. Hugs XOXOXO Chargergirl