SleepyWalrus

Thanks to the new medicine I haven't been having much trouble with flashbacks, and the dissociations have been less intense. However, I now find myself having mixed feelings about all this. I'm glad...

I keep pondering over the idea of learning to sew cute plush toys and sell them at markets/conventions as a safe way to meet and interact with women close to my age. If I were to do so then my...

Continuing with the fears/reasoning thing, here is another.Fear: Being asked for opinion on outfits.Reasoning: I didn't realize I had this fear until the first romantic relationship I was in. She...

Lately I've been thinking about some of the fears I have concerning women and why I feel those fears. I know these fears are irrational, but given past encounters with abusive women it is hard for me...

As long as I still have this new medicine helping me I figure I should resume doing mental exercises to help deal with my anxiety of women.Like before these exercises are just attempts to visualize...

So I recently met with an insurance broker (offers free help to people with getting set up on the government healthcare website in the US) to make sure I would still qualify for the cheapest...

The new meds really seem to be helping. The anxiety feels very dulled. I still experience the anxiety issues when closing up at work at the end of the day, but thankfully the anxiety is dulled enough...

I've been on this new med (which I've learned is actually an anti-psychotic) for about a week now. It seems to have brought the anxiety down to a much more tolerable level. The anxiety pains feel...

I remember back in high school there was one girl that would actually talk to me as a friend. She was quirky, cheerful and outgoing. Whenever she spoke to me and smiled or laughed I felt like she was...

This entry is more of record of some reflecting I've done recently. Just in case I need to look back at this if I need help putting any of it into words later (such as if I'm talking to therapist...

I have one doctor that I am actually able to see. However, that's because I've been seeing them since I was a kid for the unrelated issue of attention deficit disorder. Seeing doctor doesn't seem...

The anxiety just doesn't seem to let up. It's gotten to the point where it's making me feel physically ill to my gut. The kind of sick feeling you get when you're super anxious about something.

I just thought that maybe I should try to list the coping mechanisms and techniques I have/am trying for dealing with my anxiety/flashbacks/dissociation issues.- Listening to audio books/stories-...

This is in regards to my previous journal entry. I know I could just ask someone else at work to handle closing up at work for me at the end of the day. However, it would be too awkward for me. They...

Every day at the end of the work day I have to go around and lock up the work place and make sure the kettle for heating water for tea or other hot drinks is unplugged. This isn't actually a big task...