Thought maybe this might help me.
Lately I've been thinking about some of the fears I have concerning women and why I feel those fears. I know these fears are irrational, but given past encounters with abusive women it is hard for me to deal with these fears. The rational side of me says that it's unlikely for these fears to come to fruition in the vast majority of encounters I have with women. However, the fearful/emotional side of me says that since some of these fears HAVE come to at least partial fruition with some encounters I've had with women it IS possible for some of these fears to come to fruition again, and the consequences of that happening are bad enough that it's not worth risking "being brave" about these fears.
So I figured I would try writing out some of these fears or modes of thinking and my mind's reasoning for them. Maybe doing so here will help alleviate some of the fear somehow.
Fear: Looking at women
Reasoning: I feel like if I look or glance at women I'm somehow being rude or a creep. Part of me feels afraid that if a woman sees me looking at her she'll get angry and accuse me of oggling her and/or being a creepy pervert. As a result I try to look away from women around me and avoid eye contact with them if I'm talking to a woman.
Fear/issue: Swimsuits
Reasoning: The reasoning here is basically the same as the first one. The only difference is that I feel less afraid of women wearing one-piece swimsuits than I am of women wearing two piece swimsuits. I used to think maybe this was due to a fetish or something, but after much thought I now realize the reason forvthis preference seems to be rooted in how safe I feel. One-piece swimsuits are less revealing, so I feel as though I'm a little safer from accusations of being a creep/pervert by women wearing them if I happen to look in their direction.
So I figured I would try writing out some of these fears or modes of thinking and my mind's reasoning for them. Maybe doing so here will help alleviate some of the fear somehow.
Fear: Looking at women
Reasoning: I feel like if I look or glance at women I'm somehow being rude or a creep. Part of me feels afraid that if a woman sees me looking at her she'll get angry and accuse me of oggling her and/or being a creepy pervert. As a result I try to look away from women around me and avoid eye contact with them if I'm talking to a woman.
Fear/issue: Swimsuits
Reasoning: The reasoning here is basically the same as the first one. The only difference is that I feel less afraid of women wearing one-piece swimsuits than I am of women wearing two piece swimsuits. I used to think maybe this was due to a fetish or something, but after much thought I now realize the reason forvthis preference seems to be rooted in how safe I feel. One-piece swimsuits are less revealing, so I feel as though I'm a little safer from accusations of being a creep/pervert by women wearing them if I happen to look in their direction.
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