Coping mechanisms.
I just thought that maybe I should try to list the coping mechanisms and techniques I have/am trying for dealing with my anxiety/flashbacks/dissociation issues.
- Listening to audio books/stories
- Listening to commentary videos
- Reading
- Watching videos
- Self affirmations (i.e.: telling myself I am doing okay or doing a good job)
- Grounding techniques (describing to myself every step of whatever I am doing; describing to myself every detail of what I plan to be doing later; describing my environment to myself; etc)
- Chewing gum (supposedly chewing gum helps with reducing anxiety since it allegedly tricks the brain into feeling safe since it thinks you are eating, and if you're eating you must be safe)
- Eating food (usually just small snacks since I don't eat much normally, and eating supposedly calls people down)
- Playing electronic games (i.e.: Solitaire up through console and computer games, albeit I obviously can't do this while at work)
- Reciting mantras (i.e.: telling myself that I am safe; that I haven't done anything to provoke anyone; that I haven't done anything wrong; and everything is fine)
- Fidget toys (fidgeting with those little odd toys like rubber "spaghetti balls" to try to distract myself from anxiety)
- Breathing exercises
- Journalling
- Hugging a plush toy (only in private while at home)
- Talking about it (Whenever I try talking about my anxiety/flashbacks/dissociations it seems to end badly. When I turned to friends for support they gave up on me, and when I turned to the PTSD and Abuse support groups on Daily Strength people in those groups got very upset at me for even suggesting any of the women I've been victimized by could do any wrong.)
- Walking away from triggering situations (I try to when I can, but usually I can't since it's at work or around people I can't let know about my problem)
There might be other things I'm forgetting, but I think that's pretty much all of it. Some of it has helped to varying degrees with some being quite effective in the past. However, the anxiety and dissociation issues have gotten to the point where none of these techniques seem to be helping much at all anymore (although I am hoping this is only a temporary thing). The "anxiety attacks" just rocket up to debilitating so quickly and powerfully that it completely overwhelms what little comfort these techniques offer.
Side note:
I keep mentioning "anxiety attack" in quotes, but I haven't explained why yet, so I figure I should take a moment to do so now. When I experience these episodes they are very brief, but extremely sharp and overwhelming, so I don't feel like they last long enough to call them full-blown anxiety attacks.
When they happen it's like my anxiety rapidly goes from 1/10 to 11+/10 in a matter of about 1-2 seconds. During this time my mind feels like it is being flooded with painful memories or dissociations, but they don't have enough time to fully form into any memories or things I can put a name/face/location/etc to. They're like nightmarish half formed flashbacks that just balled up all the pain of one, but couldn't attach any particular memories to it.
It really reminds me of what I heard explained about "night terrors". Night terrors are those cases where a person suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat and screaming from a nightmare, but can't remember anything about what took place in the nightmare. Apparently the reason people can't remember anything about what took place in the nightmare is because there actually isn't anything to remember. The night terror was just the person experiencing pure fear in the brain without any stimuli attached.
When I have these "anxiety attacks" it's kind of like that in regards to the intense anxiety without being able to link it to an actual memory or flashback. It really makes describing the issue difficult.
- Listening to audio books/stories
- Listening to commentary videos
- Reading
- Watching videos
- Self affirmations (i.e.: telling myself I am doing okay or doing a good job)
- Grounding techniques (describing to myself every step of whatever I am doing; describing to myself every detail of what I plan to be doing later; describing my environment to myself; etc)
- Chewing gum (supposedly chewing gum helps with reducing anxiety since it allegedly tricks the brain into feeling safe since it thinks you are eating, and if you're eating you must be safe)
- Eating food (usually just small snacks since I don't eat much normally, and eating supposedly calls people down)
- Playing electronic games (i.e.: Solitaire up through console and computer games, albeit I obviously can't do this while at work)
- Reciting mantras (i.e.: telling myself that I am safe; that I haven't done anything to provoke anyone; that I haven't done anything wrong; and everything is fine)
- Fidget toys (fidgeting with those little odd toys like rubber "spaghetti balls" to try to distract myself from anxiety)
- Breathing exercises
- Journalling
- Hugging a plush toy (only in private while at home)
- Talking about it (Whenever I try talking about my anxiety/flashbacks/dissociations it seems to end badly. When I turned to friends for support they gave up on me, and when I turned to the PTSD and Abuse support groups on Daily Strength people in those groups got very upset at me for even suggesting any of the women I've been victimized by could do any wrong.)
- Walking away from triggering situations (I try to when I can, but usually I can't since it's at work or around people I can't let know about my problem)
There might be other things I'm forgetting, but I think that's pretty much all of it. Some of it has helped to varying degrees with some being quite effective in the past. However, the anxiety and dissociation issues have gotten to the point where none of these techniques seem to be helping much at all anymore (although I am hoping this is only a temporary thing). The "anxiety attacks" just rocket up to debilitating so quickly and powerfully that it completely overwhelms what little comfort these techniques offer.
Side note:
I keep mentioning "anxiety attack" in quotes, but I haven't explained why yet, so I figure I should take a moment to do so now. When I experience these episodes they are very brief, but extremely sharp and overwhelming, so I don't feel like they last long enough to call them full-blown anxiety attacks.
When they happen it's like my anxiety rapidly goes from 1/10 to 11+/10 in a matter of about 1-2 seconds. During this time my mind feels like it is being flooded with painful memories or dissociations, but they don't have enough time to fully form into any memories or things I can put a name/face/location/etc to. They're like nightmarish half formed flashbacks that just balled up all the pain of one, but couldn't attach any particular memories to it.
It really reminds me of what I heard explained about "night terrors". Night terrors are those cases where a person suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat and screaming from a nightmare, but can't remember anything about what took place in the nightmare. Apparently the reason people can't remember anything about what took place in the nightmare is because there actually isn't anything to remember. The night terror was just the person experiencing pure fear in the brain without any stimuli attached.
When I have these "anxiety attacks" it's kind of like that in regards to the intense anxiety without being able to link it to an actual memory or flashback. It really makes describing the issue difficult.
Replies
I\'d like to add something to the list.
- Exercise (I haven\'t really used this method since gyms and the types of people seen at gyms are a big trigger for me. I would try to exercise at home instead, but it\'s a complicated issue for me to do that at home, so it would have to be done in private when I\'m home alone, which is rare.)
While searching again for other support group sites that might help me I stumbled across some terminology that seems to fit what I\'ve been calling \"anxiety attacks\". Apparently these episodes I keep repeatedly feeling might be called \"emotional flashbacks\". They\'re basically flashbacks, but with emotions and no visual/audio components to them, which I guess describes what I\'ve been experiencing pretty well.