Celian

Just a little update from me to say that I am still here, still pregnant at 34 weeks with m precious ranbow baby girl, still praying and hoping, and also still remembering my darling first born, my...

Still miss her, still alone, her body is still missing, and I am still alive. Its been nearly four years, and the difference is I am now hopeful. I dont think my life is doomed, maybe there is still...

I remember the shock at the sun coming out on the morning following Sinza's birth, and feeling betrayed by the way he world didn't stop to acknowledge such a profound event. Now I appreciate fully...

So, a "hotshot" decided he needed the land on which the church cemetery is located, brought some goons in the middle of the night, exhumed all the bodies, plucked them out of their coffins,tossed...

Sinza turns 3 years next month. Yesterday a family lost their 18 year old princess. Death of others always makes me ponder about the death of my daughter.  In one thought I think I would take 18...

Today I feel so broken, if it was a physical illness i would have putride sores coming though every pore in my skin. I cant believe I am going to live out the rest of my life with this kind of pain...

Yesterday, Sinza would have made 2 years and six months. Yesterday while driving home, I saw a mom walking along with a baby girl around that age, I stared at little girl for ever so long, I missed...

I am back... I just love my daughter so much... i needed to go somewhere and say that...I love my daughter Sinza still..2 years and 4 months without her..and I love her like crazy. Thats all.

Sinza turned 2 on Jan 14th. I have been away at a work retreat so I didnt get time to come and update my journal. The day was okay, I cried ofcourse..but not as bad as year one. It was more of I miss...

Sinza makes one year and 10 months tomorrow. I did something this month that I feel was a big achievement for us. I participated in the Carly Marie Project Heal on facebook, where we posted something...

Still here, still missing her, and amazed how life actually goes on. Wake up, go to work, stop by the market, attend friend's wedding/baby dedications or whatever, put one foot infront of the other...

Tomorrow it will be 19 months of living without my daughter. the non loss community may not get this but lately I have been feeling so very grateful for the certainty of death. Imagine if some people...

Nothing is different, could I have hit a plateau? I remember feeling this way with my grief counselor episodes, knowing that I am going to go there, say over and over that my baby died, and how...

Time passes and life wont let you dwell on your loss as much as you did in the beginning. This is my first combined-months post. One year three months and one year four months. I follow a few...

We made a year and 2 months on Saturday. And this time round, i find myself short of words. Waht more can I say that I havent already said? My beloved daughter Sinza died, I love and miss her...