One year four months
Time passes and life wont let you dwell on your loss as much as you did in the beginning. This is my first combined-months post. One year three months and one year four months. I follow a few baby-loss blogs and I have noticed that with time, their blog posts too become less and less frequent and eventually they become an annual entry, or completely stop. Possibly I am hitting that zone too..reminds me when I decided to stop seeing my therapist..we had become a broken record..my baby died, I am so sad..then the following week..my baby died..I am so sad...till it sank in for me that this is just the way its always going to be..its a terminal illness..has no cure..my baby is always going to be dead..and that's always going to be a sad thing....learn to live with the pain...next...??
Now I realize you may be reading this and are in the early stages of your grief, and are feeling sure you will always be raw and pain/tear-stricken...true..but eventually, this pain will move from your skin and sit into your bones..and as the pain moves in, I have made some life changing decisions for my life..I KNOW now..that every minute of every second we get with our loved ones is a special occasion..I no longer have special occasion things in my life..I tell my loved ones that I love them on no special occasion, I wear my nice clothes, shoes, handbags..get my hair done, take my friends on a treat..on no special occasion..that is my gift from Sinza..and when I slip on my bright red high heeled shoes for work on a Tuesday..that is what Sinza has taught me..at one year four months out. I will never take another day or time or person for granted, EVER. Thank you mommy's special girl....air kisses to you!
Update on the cemetery situation...well the graves are all still there...nothing much has changed on the ground..starting to wonder if the grounds keeper was spinning me tales just to evict some "residents" and create room for new entrants? I continue to be still and trust God with our situation.
Now I realize you may be reading this and are in the early stages of your grief, and are feeling sure you will always be raw and pain/tear-stricken...true..but eventually, this pain will move from your skin and sit into your bones..and as the pain moves in, I have made some life changing decisions for my life..I KNOW now..that every minute of every second we get with our loved ones is a special occasion..I no longer have special occasion things in my life..I tell my loved ones that I love them on no special occasion, I wear my nice clothes, shoes, handbags..get my hair done, take my friends on a treat..on no special occasion..that is my gift from Sinza..and when I slip on my bright red high heeled shoes for work on a Tuesday..that is what Sinza has taught me..at one year four months out. I will never take another day or time or person for granted, EVER. Thank you mommy's special girl....air kisses to you!
Update on the cemetery situation...well the graves are all still there...nothing much has changed on the ground..starting to wonder if the grounds keeper was spinning me tales just to evict some "residents" and create room for new entrants? I continue to be still and trust God with our situation.
Replies
Hi. I haven\'t heard from you in a while. Hope you are well. It\'s been close to 8 months for me now. Getting a little better but of course you never forget. Time sure does fly. Take care my friend.
Thank you dear, glad to hear you are getting stronger, little by little. I have good days and bad days, and the bad days are less frequent than earlier..this must be the effect of grieving and giving it time. We will NEVER EVER forget our angels, but we learn to live with the dice we have been dealt. Take care of yourself as well, was lovely f you to give me a thught and drop a note. Love and hugs.