One year seven months
Tomorrow it will be 19 months of living without my daughter. the non loss community may not get this but lately I have been feeling so very grateful for the certainty of death. Imagine if some people lived for 600 years? And you couldn't tell if this was going to be you? I would be daily on my knees begging God to please please don't let me be one of those, because I need to go see my daughter. But you know what? I am 35 years old now, and even if I live to be 100, in 65 years time I WILL die and go see my daughter. Who looks forward to dying this much? Someone whose only child was stillborn. Am I going to top myself? No, but I am patiently waiting for that day, knowing that sooner or later, it WILL come! And I am so glad...and grateful for the certainty of death. In the meantime I have been entrusted with some more time on earth to make my daughter as proud of her mommy as I possibly can.
I miss you my darling, every single day..but for SURE, we will see each other (me- again-u for the first time). Love you to the moon and back, my precious beautiful, peaceful Sinza.
I miss you my darling, every single day..but for SURE, we will see each other (me- again-u for the first time). Love you to the moon and back, my precious beautiful, peaceful Sinza.
Replies
My dear friend Celian. Sinza will always be in our hearts and in our thoughts. She will always be remembered. She is looking down at you and smiling because she is so proud of you for what you have been through and what you have overcome. I too cannot wait for the day that I am reunited with my precious Evelyn. It has only been 10 months and I am anxious about her one year angelversary. I\'m not sure how I will handle that day. Our daughters will forever be embedded in our hearts and souls. I wish you continued strength, hope, faith and love. You are not alone. Take care and reach out if you ever need a friend. Sending you many hugs. Evelyn\'s mommy Cindy.
Oh Thank you Cindy, ten months...time does fly and stall at the same time doesn\'t it? Angelversarys can be tough, but in my experience the anticipation of the day is harder then the day itsef...kind of similar to organizing a big event, like a wedding..Evelyn is missed and loved every single day! Hope you are coming up with some beautiful and personal ideas to celebrate her big day?
And look who else has been thinking just like me!!
http://stillstandingmag.com/2015/08/one-sweet-day/?utm_source=feedblitz&utm_medium=FeedBlitzRss&utm_campaign=stillstandingmagazine
Sinza is already proud of you. You have help many of us angel mommies..you have encourage us through out difficult time. One day we will join all of our little angels. I am 100% that our babies have a special bond up in Heaven. Just like we do here on Earth. I also miss my son Eli, and I am waiting patiently for that day that I meet with him again. I got myself a tattoo with a baby angel sleeping on his wings, on the bottom it says \" I will hold you in my heart until I can hold you in Heaven\" Eli
I miss him everyday...every minute..second....Just like you miss Sinza. And I know we will always love and treasure their memory.
Hugs you way!
Martha, Eli\'s Mommy
That is a lovely thought Martha! To think that our babies are sharing a close bond up there too! Hugs right back at you my dear!