Two years and almost one month

Sinza turned 2 on Jan 14th. I have been away at a work retreat so I didnt get time to come and update my journal. The day was okay, I cried ofcourse..but not as bad as year one. It was more of I miss you baby and less of Oh My God, my baby died! cry.
I came back and delivered the birthday flower wreath, and I think I am getting the hang of being a dead baby mom.. I have no hyperventilating episodes before going to the cemetery, its something that I do naturally now. I am a dead baby mom, I am Sinza's mom..this is my life's path..I guess this is what the therapist called the acceptance part of grief...I accept Sinza..the way she is...I accept the new me..the way I now am. Breath in, breath out... and so life goes on.
Happy 2nd birthday in heaven, precious child of mine.