Want to Die...yay

well now my main goal in life is to die....guess it is only the meds keeping me alive...dont know why i continue to take them...if I go off all  meds, I would feel awful and would probably go through with killing myself...but stupid me keeps taking her meds morning and night...I think because its a part of my ocd routine, just have to take meds 2 times a day....just really stupid....I JUST WANT TO DIE........LEAVE ME ALONE....I dont even know who Im talking to....there is this overwhelming voice in my head and I constantly fight against it...then there is another which I want it to come and be stronger and let me die.....I cant tell my psychiatrist all this....the voices say no...he will just schedule me to the psych ward...and thats not a place I want to be...or maybe it dont really matter................................ just let me die....this illness is never going away....I will always relapse worse each time...............
Am now on 450mg seroquel, 200mg pristiq and guess what....another anti-psychotic added to the mix....20mg Abilify....
I just want to die, sooner rather than later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!