missingjgb
Status: been 2 weeks since my breakdown. I really feel the need to harm today :(
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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Not doin good at all just laid down a few more burns into my arm and cried my eyes out thinking if only I had the strength to kill myself. I need this to end.
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So its been a couple of weeks almost since I was on here. I spent 5 days at a crisis center recovering from the cuts, bruises and burns I gave myself. I got to meet other people in crisis and meet...
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Yesterday I burned my arm and then made my face swollen by repeatedly hitting it. I then used a rock with glass attached to it to cut my face. I was able to call a crisis line and get to a safe...
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I feel like I have been spiralling out of control the last 2 days. My self harm is worse and I have been crying a whole lot more. I miss Jess so much I am so lost and lonely. She is not in the office...
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Well into November another month to struggle through. It feels never ending. The darkness, the pain, the isolation. Hopefully this in the month I can find the strength to end it all. She showed me a...
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It's the 28th I shouldn't be here. I didn't plan to be here This day. Somehow the days and weeks keep going by yet I am still here. Still suffering. When will this pain just end. Why won't it end. I...
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its her birthday on Wednesday. I want to reach out and tell her how much i care, how much i love her yet i cant. All i can feel is pain, soul crushing hoplessness sadness and pain. I want to lay down...
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So its almost 4 and so far today I have not self harmed. Hoping to get through the day and hang on. Been keeping busy with work and distractions through lunch and breaks. At this point despite how...
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I wish I could feel numb and make the pain go away. I sat in my car for 20 minutes before work today with my knife and lighter in my hand. Somehow I managed not to burn. The knife and lighter are now...
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So i have generally avoided music for the last 3 years as no matter the song it seems to bring back bad memories and feelings. I switched the radio from the news to music at lunch. There was a line...
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So she isn't here today, that's a good thing, I do miss her but I cannot handle it when she is around. She will definitely be here tomorrow I am not sure if I will be able to stop myself from burning...
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Am I the only one who gets tired of crying? It seems it can happen at anytime. Sitting at my desk at work, driving, making breakfast for the kids. The emotions come and then the tears. Sometimes a...
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Feeling very conflicted now. Just found out she will not be in the office until next Wednesday as she is out the office. Its good that I don't have to face her but at the same time I wonder where she...
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She is not here today so I feel like I can breathe a little easier and perhaps get through the day without harming myself. One day of respite will be good for me. Not sure if this journal thing is...
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I so want to share with someone about the burning. I wish I had someone to talk to, someone I could just sit with and let it all tears and all. Someone who wont judge me or think I am nuts for...
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