Death

It's the 28th I shouldn't be here. I didn't plan to be here This day. Somehow the days and weeks keep going by yet I am still here. Still suffering. When will this pain just end. Why won't it end. I feel so alone yet I have to put on a false bravado again go to work and pretend to everyone that everything is all just fine. I have to get on with my day, get my work done and act like it's all ok when it's not fucking ok. I can't handle life. I can't handle my emotions. I cry every dam day. I burn my arm to cope with the mental pain and anguish. It's just not ok! Especially on this day. All I want is to be there for her and I can't even be her for myself. I just don't know how I am going to cope.